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Another smoking dream
2004-10-13, 3:08 p.m.

Days 51 & 52 Darn dreams again

Had another one of those smoking dreams Monday night. Pretty vivid too. Can't remember the whole scene, but there was something like me at a ticket window. Someting happened (or didn't happen) that got me upset. Next thing I remember is looking down and seeing a half smoked cigarette in my hand. Remember thinking I had no knowledge of how it got there. Don't specifically remember taking a drag, so I assume I put it out, but I don't specifically remember that either. Weird. I don't recall my dreams all that often, all that vividly, or for this long afterwards, so remembering this 2 days later is kinda rare.

In my real life, the one where I'm awake most of the time, I still haven't smoked. Coming up on 52 days now. I think the wiff is hanging in there too, but last night made me not too sure. Her Dad is having some serious memory issues. Bad enough and geting worse enough that we believe it to be Alzheimers. But he's still living alone down in Fla., coming up here for summers and xmas. Unfortunately, I'm not sure we'll be able to let him drive it alone next summer.

Point is, every now & then the wiff gets into one of these fits where she thinks everything with her dad has to be solved RIGHT NOW. Last night was one of those times. Then, the more she drinks, the deeper into it she gets. Last night was a prime example.

She called her uncle, her dad's brother-in-law, for a little check in to balance her observations against theirs. They happen to live only 3 or so miles apart down there, and see each other fairly regularly. Well, they all pretty much agree on the status of things, and it isn't getting better. She asked her uncle if he could look around and find an estate planner, financial adviser or even lawyer that might help us to handle his affairs. I'm supposed to be the executor of his estate, have been for years, but as long as he's still here the executor has no real power. We need to get him to sign over a durable power of attorney, but I think he's going to fight that. We also need him to sign some of those HIPPA forms so we can be in on his medical status.

Suffice it to say the wiff had more than plenty to drink while she was trying to put together a plan of attack to take care of her father. Of course, the plan never came together, not floating on a sea of alcohol. The wiff is in possession of some travel vouchers on Delta Airlines. She wanted to cash them in and get tickets for next week. I finally convinced her to wait until her uncle calls back to let her know who he's been able to find regarding looking after her dad. Once she knows who that is, she can worry about when to go down. Otherwise, by just going down at random she's going to waste the free round trip and force me to buy her tickets for a second trip. I think that one penetrated the haze. We'll find out tonight.

I won't even go into her lack of eating dinner - or rather her substituting a couple of 22 oz highballs for solid food. On top of the 2 or 3 or more 22 oz high balls she already had. I stopped talking to her at one point because she was having serious difficulty enunciating. Most of what she said didn�t even sound English anymore. Worse � she called one of her Dad�s cousins (one that she�s never met) while at least 2.5 sheets to the wind. Nice first impression. She is apparently in denial, thinking that people won�t or don�t notice her condition. Truth is, most folks are too polite to ask her is she�s ripped. She�s called her aunt & uncle and a couple of family friends many times while potted � usually in a tizzy over what to do about her dad. Even they won�t say anything about it to her. Maybe I need to discreetly quiz them next time I see them. May not be till xmas though, and I think something is going to pop before then.

I�m thinking if I can maintain my non-smoking status considering what I�ve been through the last couple of months, I ought to be able to hang in there until we can get the wiff�s dad�s situation stabilized. I hope.

52 days down. Maybe I�m playing with a full deck now. (Don�t know about the wiff)


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