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Nothing But Soy Based Filler Here
2006-09-27, 4:14 p.m.

Day 766 Nothing But Soy Based Filler Here

I got nothing with any meat to it, but I did run across an interesting little ditty at Electrolicious
Idea is, go to google, enter your name and the phrase “last I heard {he/she} was” and copy the top however many results.
I got these gems using only my first name: (My comments in {})


Last I heard he was married and lived in Colorado. {news to Cindy!!}

Last I heard, he was working as a pizza cook somewhere in New York {potentially true. I do cook pizza from time to time}

Last i heard he was running a meth lab out of some chick's trailer {Need some?}

Last I heard, he was a pizza delivery man and garage record producer {huh?}

The last I heard, he was working as a roustabout on the oil pipeline way out west somewhere. Alberta I think. {nah, too cold}

The last i heard he was in the state of Georgia {nah, too humid}

Last I heard he was in Stockholm with his family {yeah, the Sorenstams!}

Last I heard he was managing rock bands in Japan {garage bands that eat pizza apparently}

Last I heard he was farming {and wiping out woodchucks}

Last I heard he was brewing at Diamond Back, near San Francisco {and my wife has a drinking problem? Not a good career choice.}

Last I heard he was busy doing a lot of community work in his hometown, somewhere in Cleveland Ohio {Hmmm, my parents never told me that part . . .}

Last I heard he was ... Brian {Whew!}

Had to skip weights the last couple of days – no time. The cardio workouts have been pretty spiffy though. This morning was a normal off day, but due to the lack of weights and no aerobics last night, I went in anyhow and managed to get in some weight work along with the usual cardio work.

There was a 50-something year old woman (Carla) in working in the Nautilus area. Ran into her before in the Fitlinxx resistance machine room too. She’s just plain rude. Not like she belches or farts out loud or anything – she just doesn’t grasp the concept of etiquette. This morning, I had put my water bottle and paper towels in their proper places on the butterfly unit. I was looking at my chart, checking my seat adjustment and weight settings, when she flies in, throws her “workout towel” on the seat, sits down and starts going at it. I still had my hands on the weight adjustment pins! I know she wasn’t at that unit prior as I saw her just get off the ab cruncher. She’s done the same thing to me before, apparently figuring if she can get her ass in the seat before I do, the machine is all hers, regardless of whether it’s the next machine in my rotation or not.

(Note for the casual observer – there is a set “circuit” you should follow when using the machines. People following the circuit have the right of way. Folks coming in to use just a single piece of equipment, or those who are randomly bouncing from one machine to another have to allow a 1 machine gap between them and someone following the circuit. If you question whether or not someone is following the circuit – assume they are. These guidelines are posted pretty prominently – along with the “wipe down when you are done” rule.)

Twice now she’s cut me off like that. I could take her and her scrawny, chicken legged husband both at the same time, without breaking a sweat. But that would be occupying two exercises at once, and that would be ruder (more rude? Ruderer?) than cutting someone off. And I’d still have to wipe them down when I was through (eew). So I’ll let ‘em live another day, and hope I get the opportunity to gently coach them in the proper use of etiquette at the gym. That, or I’ll wait till she’s in the back extension machine and just crank up the weight and trap her in there. Probably only take 80 pounds to get her stuck. Passive aggressive much?

Bowling tomorrow night. Let the antsyness begin! Would like to get there early enough to maybe have the pros-hop guy open up my thumb hole just a wee bit. It still sticks a bit on the release and could be hampering my ability to get good lift on the ball. Good lift rules - makes the pins jump.

Was giving my brother (Dave) a hard time about me beating him (again!). He pointed out that he just never got any good breaks. He averaged 215 for the night, but never had an open frame. Always had a spare or strike. On the other hand, I averaged 227 for the night and had 4 open frames. (two were splits and two were just bone headed errors on my part) Also had strings of 5 to 7 strikes in a row each game. That’ll do wonders for your score. And help you beat your brother. Nyaah.

Now the other brother (Ken, who wasn’t there last week, his sons (twins!!) had a varsity soccer game) is expecting me to bowl like that again. Actually, so are Dave & I. I just pity whoever we’re going to be bowling. As a team, we’re still upset about getting involuntarily skunked the first week We plan on taking it out on the rest of the league by beating them into submission. So we agreed – we’d go undefeated the remainder of the season. 0 – 8 to start, 216 – 0 to finish. (there are two points per game and two more points for totals – 8 points at stake each week)

Umm, well, that first week back? Went 4 – 4. Not so good. Last week? 8 – 0. Back on track.

Reality check – we’re not really upset. We bowl in this league for fun. We compete more with each other than with the other teams. Now, we do watch the score board, we do always try our best, and we are all very competitive, but I believe we are also gracious in both victory and defeat. When we walk out of the bowling alley – it’s done. Until the next week, when I can start getting antsy all over again and type up tripe like this to relieve my anxiety. (I’m glad these simulations are taking 20 minutes plus to run)

Cindy is chaperoning a soccer game tonight. Leaves Jill and I for dinner. I have salad made. Oh boy. What else, what else??


Updated stats:

Weight start: 206.5 on 1/1/06 (265.0 on 1/15/05)
Current weight: 186 on 9/25/06 (?!? Musta ate too good at the golf tourny)
Next weigh in: 10/2/06

New target – Aim is 180, by Halloween.

The Keep on Truckin goal: (idea stolen shamelessly from Marn’s Big Adventure)
Miles at speed 9/21/06: 763.55 (on target so far)
Miles with cool down: 839.85
Target for 2006: 1000 miles
Plus 161 miles biking so far. (160.99 for you choosy mothers)


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