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Patty’s Back!
2007-02-07, 3:09 p.m.

Day 899

The little dynamo spin class instructor has returned again. Don’t know where that girl gets her energy. She’s diabetic too and has to wear an insulin pump. Her workouts give her trouble with regulating her glucose/insulin balance (duh!), which may explain her frequent absences. Well, that and she has a 4 year old at home.

She killed us good & dead this morning. Lots of climbs, which is unusual for her, but they were of course climbs at a high rate of speed. Even took us on a virtual tour of a local park. Guess she’s biked it a few times. One thing I noticed – she’s not too big on stretching after we’re done. She does lead us through some basic stretches, but nothing like the other instructors. She did mention something about getting in some more hamstring stretches on our own, but that was all the attention she paid to them.

Figured out how to avoid forgetting my shirt. Rather than tote it along on a hanger, I decided to just wear the damn things. Could have done it before, but there’s something about putting a shirt back on –vs taking it off a hanger. Just doesn’t seem like it’s fresh. Just a silly notion. It’ll go away once I realize all the time I’ll be saving by not having to track back home for a shirt at least once a month.

Didn’t make any big production out of going to my meeting last night. Just grabbed my coat, told Cindy I’d be back around 9:30 and left. Had a good meeting too. I brought up the point I made yesterday about being able to recognize Alzheimers victims as having a disease and not being responsible for their actions much of the time, but with alcoholics we are all to ready to blame the person and not the disease (addiction). That launched us into a whole 30 minute discussion that did a nice job of filling out the meeting. And my Al Anon buddy Pat was there, so she didn’t have to try and tease a few words out of me towards the end of the meeting. Amazingly enough, one of the overhead garage doors (Cindy’s side) was open when I got home too. That’s a first. Usually she locks up the exterior pretty tight. Probably an oversight on her part.

I’ve also committed to going to some regional meet next week as the rep for our group. Friday evening @ 6:30. Gee – that’s not an inconvenient time or anything, is it? Don’t know how this is going to shake out, but it’s sure to ruffle a feather or two. I’ll have to start broaching the subject soon – but not till I don’t get the “evil stare of death” every time I try to initiate a conversation.

Got the LCD monitor of our new PC last night. Apparently, it was in stock and they wanted to get it out to us as soon as possible. So, just for grins, I hooked it up to the old dog PC. What a difference. The display itself is 2” larger, but width-wise, it fits in the same amount of space the old CRT monitor took up. I was worried about how to arrange the desk top, what with the new display being larger and all, but the lack of a thick bezel on the perimeter of the LCD really made a difference. Now we just have to suffer through the slow performance of the old PC for another 10 – 14 days before the rest of the new toy arrives. Gonna be a loooonnng 2 weeks. Now Cindy wants to pull the whole computer set up out of the living room (more of a sitting room – hardly used really) and plop it down in the family room. It’s not all bad, it does sort of re-integrate the computer into the heart of the house, but it also puts the computer at the heart of the house. I’ll have to re-route the dsl line, if it’s long enough and convince Cindy we’ll need a thick plastic (lexan) mat to put on the slate floor so the rolly chair will actually roll. Those grout joints can be a real bummer. Oh – and a new computer hutch that will actually fit in the space she has in mind. Maybe there’ll be enough logistical problems that we’ll never move the computer at all!

After a little slack time here at the zoo (reading PCI & USB specs, ugh!), the feces has hit the rotating blades. Now I have 3 separate projects all clamoring for attention at once. One has kinda given up and slipped by the wayside for now, but two others are hot to trot. One is already 2 weeks past delivery and I haven’t even started it yet. Hope project manglement understands that they won’t be getting this one early. Of course, it’s 2 weeks late based on manglements 100% success, nothing ever goes wrong schedule. The rational, realistic, ‘we fuckin told ya’ engineers schedule says I still have a month to complete the task. Maybe they’re manglement is in their position because they’re so good at blowing sunshine up their bosses skirts. Unfortunately for them, when it comes to us grunts here in the trenches, there is no sunshine for blowing around. One of these years, they’ll listen. Delusional, I know. You’d think that after 25 years here, I’d have learned something myself.

Tomorrow’s workout is going to be an easy one. Probably roll in a little late and get in a good solid run and be happy with that. Have to stay up late tonight and watch Lost. Sucks that it’s on at 10pm. ABC has jerked that show around so much, they’re lucky there’s a fan base left. If it weren’t for the facts that the story line has been pretty interesting and Evangeline Lily (Kate) is real easy on the eyes, they’d be screwed.

Thursday Survivor is back again!! Already got my guy picked in the office pool. Didn’t seem to be anyone that stuck out to me this go ‘round. I picked my guy because of his job. Seemed like he’d be a good negotiator. So I wrote my name on the list beneath his picture – committed. Then I read the rest of his bio. He’s 32 and still lives at home with his mom & grandma!! He’s probably going to be great buddies with the guy that’s a cheerleading instructor (he’s at least got kids, but I’m thinking he might switch hit, wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

This was going to be a reply to a comment from the previous entry, but it got a little lengthy. So it’s here instead.

I know early on I thought it (Cindy’s drinking) was a behavior issue too. Something that was little more than a choice gone bad. Time after time after time. But now that I can separate myself from it a bit (ie - stop trying to control the alcoholics behavior myself), things have started to come into focus. I see all the machinations she goes through to secure that next drink. Hiding it, lying about it, denying it, craving it. Even her post-binge routine in order to avoid the hangover! They are not truly in control of themselves. The disease is the addiction - the alcohol is just the poison of choice. Could be narcotics, gambling, sex (damn - wish that was it!), adrenalin rushes, what ever. What makes it look like a behavior issue is thinking that all they need is the testicular fortitude to say “No – I won’t take that next drink”. Wish it were that easy. What sucks for me is that after quitting smoking (899+ days now), I'm thinking any addiction can be broken, but you have to want it bad enough. That's key. The hard part is waiting around for the addict to want to get better.

I just don't know. This can be debated forever. The disease hypothesis is at least working to make things livable, for now. I just hope she hits bottom and decides to get better. Soon.

Gah. Back to the zoo. Got projects to keep behind schedule.


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old habits - new tricks