More with Gary the Sadistic . . .
2007-06-15, 2:37 p.m.

Day 1027

I swear, these spinning instructors use sleight of hand motions when they �turn up their resistance�. I would love to see a watt meter attached to the instructors bike, hell, everybody�s bike, just to see what�s what.

Of course, maybe it�s the uphill sprints at the end of class that have made me a little grouchy. But you know what? I�ll be back there next week, letting Gary talk me into pedaling my guts out, my sweat pooling into a mini-lake under my bike. You just feel so good when it�s over! Then you go crank out some 440lb leg presses just to make sure your legs are thoroughly whipped and really get the endorphins flowing. Makes the trest of the day seem kind of easy. Wish it did something for the sleeping.

Lila � thanks for your kind comments. I�ve really enjoyed the work, and the benefits are great! The first three (smoking, weightloss/fitness) have been relatively easy compared to that last one (addict). Of course, the first 3 were clearly under my control � my own decisions to make. That last one? I am slowly coming to grips with the fact that I have ZERO control there. There are so many ways to delude yourself into believing that you�re trying to be not controlling. But when you sit back and look, you see that if you attach the slightest expectation of a reaction onto your own actions - you are trying to control. Anytime you try to work the stimulus/response relationship, you�re trying to force an issue � control the outcome. Bad, bad Brian.

And Gretchen � it�s funny you should mention the simultaneous meetings. Just the other night, at Tuesday�s anniversary meeting in fact, one of the gals (lets call her K) asked me if I�d considered inviting Cindy to a meeting on Friday nights that she attends. K is what we call a double winner � a member of both AA & Al Anon (so is my sponsor, btw) and attends the AA meeting. But!! At the same time there is an Al Anon meeting going on in a room on the second floor. Conceivably, we could go together, split up there and go to our separate meetings. If the AA meeting is an �open� one, I could go there too, but I think it�d be best if I didn�t. Then there�s the whole problem of getting her to attend in the first place. She was close once. Even called the local AIS office to try and find a meeting schedule. (I could have told her not to � the office is hardly ever staffed, I know � I tried before and the secretary is in my Thursday group) I was aware of the dual meeting at the time and offered to go with her, but I didn�t force the issue and the whole idea seemed to fade away as what ever binge she was on at the time also petered out.

Funny thing happened this morning too. First, you have to know that Cindy hasn�t voluntarily said a single civil word to me since Wednesday night. I have to ask her questions 2 & 3 times just to get my head bit off with her response. It�s been fun. Like living with a praying mantis. She may still wonder why she feels isolated too. Like dealing with someone suffering from a hangover, pms and menopause all at once is such sheer joy!! Toss in your spouse calling you an alcoholic and add a wicked case of denial and you have a formula to create the need for completely separate living quarters. (I have saws & hammers and I know how to use them!! Draw me the line!)

Anyhow. Seems Cindy�s school was missing a test. Critical they have it this afternoon. (Must have been a state Regents test or something) The only place they can get a copy is from the downtown headquarters of the city school district. Now, she knows roughly where this is, but has never had to get there from where she works. So I get a phone call this morning, asking for directions to 131 W. Broad St. She�s obviously feeling a little harried from the absolute need to get these tests, but is really trying to be nice about asking me for help. Of course. Well, what with the miracle of cell phones, police looking the other way (cell phone use while driving is a $50 no-no in NY), and g00gle maps, we get her there. I think. We ended the call when she was a few blocks away, but she had some really good landmarks to go by. Never got a call pleading for rescue, so I�m assuming she made it. Hope whoever needed that test passes! Wonder how long the new found civility will last? As long as I�m needed for something, or has she been doing some soul searching? I suppose all I can do is wait and see.

I�ve been checking out new handlebars for my bike. I know � only a month old and I�m looking to modify it. But that flat bar is killing my pinkies! Even the bikes in the spinning class are aggravating the tingliness now, and they never bothered it before. Handlebars are relatively cheap. It�s redoing the brakes & shifters that�s going to get pricey. Have to weigh doing the mods against just getting a true road bike and selling my hybrid. Going to take a hit on the hybrid, but it beats treatment for carpal tunnel syndrome.

Time to go set up a laser life test. See if more powerful lasers last longer than their weaker cousins. Ought to only take 4 months to find out.

Go enjoy the weekend. That's an order.

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