Different Kind of Night
2007-08-30, 1:08 p.m.

Day 1103

When the cats away . . .

Another night that didn�t go as planned, but turned out pretty good in spite of the lack of decent planning.

Cindy spent the evening chaperoning at a soccer tournament. I spent the evening �out�. We both had a good time.

The tiniest germ of a plan is starting to formulate in the depths of what was my brain. It�s a compromise plan right now, but so far it�s the only one that seems to address the major points that have come up thus far. There is still risk involved. There will always be risk involved. Of course, this plan is also subject to change as a result of events that are out of my control. I�m not going to try and anticipate each and every possible outcome, but I will be prepared to adapt. I only need to plan far enough ahead to make sure there is another door to open.

With that said � it looks like I�ll be trying to stick it out for the near term. I have a promise to Bob to look after his affairs � through to executing his will. I�m afraid that splitting with Cindy might cause Cindy & her brother (W) to re-do the power of attorney, health care proxy and executorship provisions. Cindy would do fine at running her Dad�s affairs, she just lacks the confidence. W? I�m afraid he�d bleed Bob dry, leaving precious little for Bob�s grandkids (our kids). In the Will itself, I get nothing but the responsibility of being executor. Bob�s estate is to pass to his kids (Cindy & W) or their (our) kids in the event Bob outlasts either Cindy or W. Frankly? I think I�ll outlast all 3 of them. They�re are all overweight, don�t exercise near enough (if at all), all smoke, and one of them has a little problem with the booze. At least I�ll know that my own kids will benefit in the end.

The one thing that could change it all? Lack of progress. I am tired of being denied some of the simpler pleasures in life (partnership, intimacy, companionship) because Cindy has to spend her evenings wasted. She has 4 straight days of chaperoning to do. Theoretically, she should be stone cold sober for it. I will have to trust that she is. If she isn�t � it�ll be up to someone at the school to take action on it. Then she�ll have to face the consequences. Alone.

Enough of that morbid crap. Skipped the gym this morning. Again. Seem to have tweaked a hip flexor yesterday morning. Got up out of me office chair and all of a sudden couldn�t put any weight on my right leg. Hip joint was on fire. It settled down after a minute or so, but was really sore for the rest of the day. Even this morning it was still a little tender. Rather than beat it up on a treadmill, I decided to forego the morning sweat and rest it. Friday is another spin session. The lack of real pounding will be a safe intro to working out again. (Suuuurrrre. We�re all buying THAT load of tripe � right?)

Got a call from my therapist this morning. Apparently 7am appointment on a Friday isn�t sitting well with her. She�s offered up 4pm today. Like in 3 hours. I was hoping to use tonight to prepare, but maybe it�ll be ok to just shoot from the hip. Heh. It�ll have to be ok. I do have one nagging question to ask. I know the right answer, I know the answer I want to hear, and I know how far apart those answers are. Not good.

We (I) had tried to nail down some method for determining �when it�s over�. That led to Cindy & I having that long talk last Friday. Since then, she�s been civil but not companionable. Then there�s the nights she�s been sneaking drinks and gets into the Gabby McTalkalot mode. A fa�ade of friendliness spouting forth from a besotted mind. Does she think no one notices? If it happens again, should I call her on it, on the spot? She�ll just deny that she�s been drinking and try to hide it even more. Maybe there�s more to talk about there too.

Aw hell. I have work to do before I escape for today. Better go get something accomplished.

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