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Anticipation . . .
2007-10-24, 4:09 p.m.

Day 1158

Yes, feeling a little anxious about tonight’s counseling session. Finished my list. Even came up with 6 things I like. Struggled to find 5 things I disliked without getting into peeves.

One of the things I liked (very dedicated to her job) was also a dislike. And yes, it makes perfect sense. To me.

Spinning this morning. Starting to get very used to Maria’s (the instructor) patterns. Perhaps it’s a character flaw in me, but when a woman asks for a little more? I tend to try and give it, even if I thought I was already at my limit. Especially cute spinning instructors that like to yell at you. Oh my! Of course, there’s another instructor (Cherie) that when she tries to encourage you to try harder she does it in a softer voice. Gentle coaxing – sort of a tease. She makes it sound kinda sexy really, although the women in the class may not agree. With the male instructors, it’s more of a challenge or a dare. And they’re sadistic bastards, the gals are just, well, they’re sadistic too. Dominatrix? Maybe. A little. Might be why there’s more guys in those classes too. (yeah, we’re all just a bunch of dogs)

Have to head over to The Bob’s today at lunch time. Got a string of phone calls from hi yesterday that went like this:

9:27am - Hi. Cindy? Could you call me back as soon as you can? Someone snuck into my room tonight and took my wallet. I can’t find it. We’ll need to cancel all the cards. I’m looking everywhere, but I can’t find anything. Call me ASAP.

10:12am – It’s me again. Whoever snuck into my room last night took my keys too. I can’t find those now either. Please call me ASAP.

10:44am – Brian? Bob here. Can you call me? I need to go over my money situation and see where it’s all going.

These messages (paraphrased – my memory isn’t all that good) were all left on our home answering machine. Soonest anyone got home? 5:00pm. This isn’t the first time this has happened. He swears everyone in the building has a set of his keys. He also swears that he throws nothing out – everything he’s ever been missing has been stolen – right up to the point where we find it in the oven (camera) or fridge (cell phone), or under his bed covers (wallet). He’s even wanted to call the police once he was so frustrated. I do not relish this trip. Had I been thinking this morning I’d have grabbed the one spare set of his keys that DOES exist so I could get another set cut. Ah well. The management at his residence do have a master set that I can get fresh ones made from. They’re quite used to the whole missing key syndrome and there’s a hardware only a mile away. They’re used to the missing key thing as well– and doing nicely from it too.

If only all my problems were so straightforward.

Been hearing from Ms. CL of late. Predictably, she didn’t take the whole ending of the affair thing very well. Uncharacteristically, she was drunk the night I finally told her. She asked to meet once since then – for closure. She was uncomfortable with the conditions of my departure and wanted to apologize for that and see if we could at least remain friends. So I went and saw her. Neutral territory. Probably a bad idea. (probably my ass) She’s actively pursuing other dating but says I set the bar rather high. Oh – the flattery! It’s killing me. I was aiming for a platonic relationship the first time. Screwed that up. Then I was hoping for a clean break. Now that hasn’t happened. Is this woman toxic to me? Uh, now, yeah. But can I resist? Uhhh, I’d better.

This explains everything. I got counter-clockwise rotation, meaning I’m left brained.

I tried & tried, but the logic driven part of my head would only let me see clockwise rotation very briefly. Even at that, I don’t think I really believed it.

Check out that list of traits for the left brainers.

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONSuses logicdetail orientedfacts rulewords and languagepresent and pastmath and sciencecan comprehendknowingacknowledgesorder/pattern perceptionknows object namereality basedforms strategiespracticalsafe RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONSuses feeling"big picture" orientedimagination rulessymbols and imagespresent and futurephilosophy & religioncan "get it" (i.e. meaning)believesappreciatesspatial perceptionknows object functionfantasy basedpresents possibilitiesimpetuousrisk taking

I’d agree with most of the left brain identifiers except:

words & language vs symbols & images – my job depends a LOT on symbols. Think I might be a little of both in that category.
present & past vs present & future – I am very forward looking and do not dwell on the past.
Safe vs risk taking – see references to Ms. CL for the last two months. Or is that crazy vs stupid?

Talked to The Bob on the phone before lunch. He found his keys. Found two parts of his wallet. Yeah, I know. Parts? But he has his bank card and Discover card. His Discover card that expires in a week. I was sweating no bullets there. That business about his funds that he was worried about? He had heard some other Kodak retirees grousing about having to rein in their spending, something about their 401k’s being too small, etc. I assured Bob he was fine – he could actually afford to live to be 120 if he liked. Truth be told, his pension and social security are providing more than he’s spending right now, and he’s not even touching the principle OR interest of any of his investments. He has mandatory withdrawls from his 401k, but that’s about it. His son (my loving BIL) is using up his money faster than he is. We’re putting a stop to that too. Wayne thinks Bob will be footing the bill for his kids college costs. Heh. From here on out, Bob will be forking out just as much as he did for my kids. ZERO.

That’s going to go over like a lead balloon, but Cindy & Bob are starting to get insistent. Well, Cindy is insistent, Bob tries to be, but he keeps forgetting.

Survived a design review at work. Sweet. Now I have a schedule to live up to and meeting notes to type up. Eek. Sucks being a grown up sometimes.


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old habits - new tricks