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Lawyers again (but not for THAT!)
2008-01-24, 4:30 p.m.

Day 1251

I have this problem with not wanting to tell people things they donít want to hear. Itís permanently tied to my desire to not piss people off. Just seems to make the world go Ďround a little smoother. Except inside my head.

Iím faced with telling my BIL that there isnít going to be any more free college money for his kids. Iím a little concerned that heís going to take that information a little poorly. Iím also concerned that he may download some power of attorney fill in the blank forms and trot his dad off to some notary public and ďconvinceĒ him to change his power of attorney.

An alternative is to concede that a second PoA does exist, but with BIL & I named as joint agents. I donít like that one because it is set up so that both agents may act alone. Iíd be more comfortable if we both had to act together.

Made an appointment with The Bobís estate attorney Ė but itís MY appointment, MY dime, so we get to talk about what most concerns Cindy & I. Itís set for Tuesday afternoon. Iím hoping to get some advice for how to best handle securing The Bobís bucks so they are there for him for as long as he needs them.

Keeping Bobís bucks for Bob. Thatís the major concern. A lesser concern is equitableness. (Wow. MSW@rd thinks thatís a word. Iím shocked. Wonder if it means what I think? Hold on a sec . . .) (Hot damn Ė got lucky)

Equitableness. For instance. Bob pays for the BILís kids remaining college. 6 years worth. Lets say Bob passes not too long after that. Thereíd still be a sizable estate left to split, weíd just take the advanced college funds into account. They would become part of the BILís half of the split. No problem.

Now lets say that Bob still pays for BILís kids college. But Bob lives another 15 years. All his funds are gone and heís existing on social security, pension & medicare. There is no estate to split, but BIL is advantaged by 6 years of college having been paid for, while Cindy & I are left holding the bag for our kids college. Not equitable.

BILís proposed solution? Have The Bob pay off our kids college loans. And still pay for BILís kids college. Rough estimate shows that takes 2 years off of The Bobís funds expectancy. (Nice to have sold a 3000sq. ft. Florida home within minutes of the gulf, eh?)

Thus my objective. BIL is to finance his kids remaining college years the old fashioned American way Ė borrow like a mad fool and scramble to keep up on the payments. Like someone else I know. My point to the BIL will be this Ė I donít know when his dad is going to die. Because I donít know how long Bob is going to live, I donít know how much money he will need to cover his expenses. Therefore, open ended ďloansĒ for college expenses are done. Period. If he can show me rejection letters from college lenders (for him, his wife and his kids), I might concede to providing absolute minimum funds (as in give me the bill, I will pay it Ė no ďexpensesĒ - get a campus job kiddies). Bottom line is if you want to go to college, there are ways to get money that donít include sponging off grandpa. Or dad.

When BIL can tell me with absolute certainty the exact date & time his dad is going to bite the bullet, I will gladly let him use half the estate funds that might be left at that time. Until he can provide me that data Ė Iím preparing for The Bob to live for a very long time.

Got to take Bob to the Docís again Friday. A follow up with a GP geriatric doc. Need to see if swapping out his verapamil for nifedical is still hunky dory. During the time we will spend with him, I intend to record a conversation weíll have regarding use of his funds. I hope to get some stuff I can use with both the lawyer and the BIL.

I also hope the meeting with the lawyer Tuesday provides me with a way of protecting against the BIL trying to out flank us and strong arming Bob into signing a new PoA. I really hope my non clandestine recording of our conversation helps. (Yes, Iíll tell Bob Iím recording, and me telling him will be recorded.)

Sounds all cloak & dagger. Iím disappointed that I feel I have to do it this way. Itís making my hair turn gray all too fast. Still, I think what is planned is good, I just want it to be enough

I need to go bowling tonight. But. Thereís one thing I dislike about bowling sometimes. Because weíre all a bunch of old farts, we get anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes of warm-ups before we actually start the score keeping portion of the evenings festivities. THE one thing I dread is getting a strike on the first ball I throw in warm ups. It bodes ill for the rest of the evening. Mostly because that first shot? Slow. Plus I think itís just bad luck. It seems Iím only allowed so many strikes in an evening, why waste them in warm ups? Silly superstition I know. Things is I could avoid it by intentionally throwing a bad shot Ė but the superstition in me believes that will reflect poorly too. Sort of the olí ďYou keep making a face like that itíll freeze that way!Ē effect. So no throwing bad on purpose, because after that, itís all youíll ever do.

Who knew bowling was so complicated?

Got a simulation running. Iíve been bouncing back and forth between my simulator and this all day. My sim will be another 20 minutes or so. Before it finishes, I will be outta here. So I have to post this drivel and hope putting it here helps get it out of my head. Sorry to pollute your minds with this bunk kiddoís.

ttfn


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old habits - new tricks