Altering Habits

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Scotty's Place





And the Beat Goes On
2007-04-20, 12:39 p.m.

Day 971

I was going to post the lyrics to Sim0n & G@rfunkels “The Sounds of Silence”, thinking that they would some how describe the last 36 hours or so. Went and looked them up. Oops. While the title is an appropriate phrase, the lyrics deviate significantly from my own situation by the end of the first line. So I’ll skip the lyrical reference and just note that if I ask Cindy a question twice (maybe thrice), I can get an answer consisting of 3 or 4 monosyllabic words at most. Simple grunts are the usual response. Looks like Wednesday nights tirade ending comment struck deep.

Did talk to Mike (sponsor dude) about it last night. I prefaced everything by saying I had to catch him up on the latest events, and that I had had a helluva night Wednesday. Before I had even related the entire story, he said “Uh oh – do you have anything to atone for?” in a joking tone. (I was fine with that. We got down to brass tacks in no time flat) My response, and my position still, is that I have nothing to atone for, nothing to apologize for (was that repetitively redundant?), and really did nothing wrong.

After listening to my tale, Mike asked a few direct questions, along the lines of Did you say it more than once? Did you yell or scream it? Did you say it dripping with sarcasm? I could honestly answer “no” to all three (that third one was tough to pull off though). I told him my position was that I was defining and defending a boundary, declaring to Cindy that I wasn’t going to take part in her tirade, and also educating the kids a wee bit. (That was a very busy 9 word sentence!)

I mentioned the level of pissed offedness (it’s a word now – I put it in my spel checquer) she was at. No surprise to Mike. That line pretty much stripped away her ability to manipulate, at least in the moment, and forced her to hear that someone thinks she has a problem. Bitter pill to swallow.

The wall of cold, stony silence extended through the evening, into this morning. I’m going to give her until Saturday afternoon to stew in her juices, then start trying to talk to her some about the situation. If she’s willing and sober.

Dragged my carcass to the gym again this morning. Too late for cycling with Gary, the sadistic bastard (bummer, I like his classes), but I at least got in a 5K run. Had to force myself to go that far, and it wasn’t terribly fast (23:something), but it got done. Weights are relatively easy – just sit down and grunt through them. Running? Sometimes it’s amazing how hard it is to convince yourself you can keep going. Like I said – too much biking is turning me into a wimp.

Snuck home for lunch – tires of the cafeterias soup & salad options for now I guess. Plus, you can never tell which of the dressings is the lo-cal one. Lately, I’m not sure any of them are. May end up bringing in my own dressings – at least I’ll know what it is I’m eating. Hate to see a nice high fiber, low calorie salad get lost under 4 or 5 hundred calories of dressing. Very deceptive.

Got a gorgeous day going her in Camp Roch-cha-cha. Sunny, temps in the 60’s and more of the same on tap for the weekend. Got tons of outdoor work to do and Sunday might yield the first outdoor bike ride of the season. Saturday I’ll do the indoor triple again - or not. Occurred to me, Patty (weekday instructor) will be in Sunday to collect a list of names of folks that would like to get together for some real live outdoor rides. I definitely want to be on that list. So I’d better make Sunday’s indoor class. Maybe Saturday morning I’ll swing up to the start of the paved section of the canal path and ride the complete paved section as a little (heh, little) out & back. By the time I navigate out to the start and complete the loop, it ought to be 30 – 35 miles total. That’s a solid 2 hours of riding, and I can finish it early Saturday morning. Better dress in layers. Might be nice to be able to strip down half way through if it starts to get a little toasty. Hmmm. Maybe pictures too.

Well, better head back to the zoo and wrap up the week. Maybe I’ll be posting the results of Saturday’s skull session with Cindy – if she doesn’t totally emasculate me in the process. (Not bloody likely)

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old habits - new tricks