Drifting, planning, working
2005-03-02, 11:42 a.m.

Day 192 - Drifting, drifting . . .

So lets see - working out at the Y. Did aerobics last night - an entire hour of step aerobics for the 4th week straight. That is one ass kicking work out - especially after 27 years of smoking. I do the entire hour, but my heart rate gets up just above the 85% of capacity level for my age (150ish BPM). Hasn't started dropping yet after 4 sessions, plus all the treadmill work I've been doing. Might be the blood pressure medicine affecting things, but the limited research I've done makes it look like the medication I'm on doesn't affect heart rate. Some BP meds do - but they actually impede rate increases during periods of work. Not my problem.

Of course, on the treadmills, I have to set the slope and/or the speed way up just to get my BPM above 120. Maybe I'll just set the slope to something moderate and try to run 9 minute miles for 30 minutes. Hard to get a BPM measurement when you're chugging along at 6.66mph, but it may be worth a try.

So anyhow - Did my workouts Saturday & Sunday. Wif managed to come up with some VERY lame excuses as to why she couldn't go. Monday was my off day - but wiffy was all geared up to do aerobics with me Tuesday. During the day Tuesday, she switches and says she's going after work, then hitting up the grocery store for some dinner fixins. (yeah, right) I get home about 5:30 - 5:45 and she's still in her work clothes. Not workout clothes. She's also cooking some outlandish quiche that didn't involve what ever it was she mentioned she was going shopping for. Are quiches good to eat when you're trying to lose weight??

I ended up going to aerobics early and alone. Managed to get in some resistance machine work before the step class. Got home, remembered to watch The Amazing Race. Almost glad the rednecks got bounced first. Couldn't handle that drawl for a 12 week show. Of course, there's the whole Rob & Amber angle too. Hmmmmmm

Got in another workout wednesday morning, came home, did the driveway (up to about a foot of snow the last two days and we're not in the worst band of this nor'easters snowfall) showered and sloshed in to work. Wif hasn't volunteered a word to me since I got home last night. Sure am glad I bothered to get her those Lord of the Dance tickets.

She uses my Fit Day program in fits & spurts. Has gotten real good about entering all the food she eats and planning meals around calorie restrictions, etc. But she never, ever enters in anything about consuming alcohol. Like she thinks if she doesn't acknowledge the drinks, they don't have calories, or side effects. Typical toddy (3 shots of whiskey, ice & ginger ale to fill a 22 oz mug) runs about 330 calories. On her intended weight loss rate she is limited to 1200 calories a day. Which is all she actually eats. Then you add in the 3 - 4 drinks and she's off the scale.

Although, sometimes she'll have a little tiny bit for breakfast, skip lunch, have 3 - 4 drinks, get hammered & pissed at me, pass out for a while then have an english muffin with peanut butter on it at around 10pm for dinner.

More fun - Sunday, while I was at the gym, she started in with the drinking. 2pm on a Sunday. I get home around 4:30. Z's girlfriend J is over doing Laundry. The wif is hammered. But she was stone cold sober (or at least only hung over) when I left. I was on the computer entering in my Fit Day info for the day when I hear a crash, thump bang from downstairs. J was snoozing on the couch, but the wif thought she'd be nice and check on her laundry. Had a full basket of clothes in her arms as she fell UP the staris and rolled back down. I got down stairs as she was trying to get her shit together. Couldn't even sit up straight without leaning on something. Also wouldn't let me help her up. I gathered up J's laundry & took it upstairs. The wif finally made it upstairs after another few minutes. This is now her second drunk trip on the basement stairs. Good thing for her she's only falling from the 3rd or 4th step. If she was to take a header from the top I'd have to drag her ass in to the ER and try to explain that her condition is NOT due to me kicking her ass (in spite of how much I'd like to), but was indeed self inflicted. Maybe that's what it'll take to wake her up. It unfortunately also runs the risk of killing her - and I really don't want that to happen. Just need to find a way to get it through her thick skull that she isn't the power drinker she thinks she is. Also need to get her to believe that her percieved reasons for drinking (no body pays any attention to her, few friends, always correcting her, never wanting to go out with her, feeling that she embarasses me (us)), are the results of her drinking - not the reasons for her to drink. Of course, how do you talk sense to a drunk? Tried that twice before. Maybe third time is a charm. Maybe I should tape Lost tonight and take another crack at it. Maybe I should go see a lawyer, draft up some divorce papers but leave her the out of sobering up to make the papers disappear. Maybe I should go to a few Al-Annon meetings then have an intervention done. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Yeesh. Enough of this crap. I need a plan.

192 days down. 1 plan to hatch.

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