Altering Habits

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Ides of March double feature (almost anyways)
2005-03-16, 5:07 p.m.

Day 206.5 - Lazier day

Had to opt against doing the aerobics class tonight. Besides the fact that it'd probably kick my butt (but be a really good workout) I'm kinda in the middle of stripping the wallpaper off the walls in the upstairs hall. Got the stairway and the largest of the walls done. Still have to do around 4 (!!) doorways, a linen closet and some short sections of full wall. Maybe a couple hours of work if I go at it hard. That'll build up some activity credits in my at home Fit Day logs, but won't do shinola for my FitLinxx competition.

However, in the never ending struggle to keep some semblance of peace in the house - it's the right decision. I will plan ahead a wee bit and tape Survivor (one of my few reality TV vices, along with The Amazing Race and sometimes Fear Factor). If the wif starts in on the drinking again tonight, I might just have to go off on her. Or just say screw the walls and go work out. Will have to stop avoiding her problem sooner or later. Keep putting it off due to fear of the results. Unfortunately the end result of avoiding the problem itself could be worse.

Of course, the wif knows I always try to steer clear of conflict. I thnk she uses it to some extent. Then, anytime I try to bring up my issues with her drinking, she turns it into how I am driving her to drink - how I always (in her drunken view) avoid conflict, avoid responsibility. Problem is that she won't take responsibility for her own drinking. She apparently can't see that her drinking is causing her friends to avoid her. Lately, she's been asking to get fish fries for takeout on Friday nights rather than actually have them at a restaraunt. Reason: she's usually half way to shit faced by the time I get home (at the ungodly late hour of 5:30, maybe 6:00 if I'm trying to crack a particularly nasty problem)

What's happening more lately is that I'll leave the house for some reason - do some work at my Mom's, go workout, what ever. By the time I get back, the wif is plastered. Sometimes in under 2 hours. Amazing how much damage one can do on an empty stomach.

Other problem is this: Oldest son is home for the week on his spring break. Youngest will be home Friday. Well, after I go get him. I really don't want to confront C (the Wif) on this issue while the kids are home on break. I'd really like their breaks to be pleasant times, so maybe they'll come back for the summer. On the other hand, there's this whole avoidance thing I have. Am I avoiding dealing with the problem? Yes. Is it a justifiable reason? To me - yes. Maybe I should ask the kids. C's problem is no secret to them. E hates it, Z has also had his own dealings with it (once when C was pissed at me for bringing it up again - she bawled her eyes out to him for over an hour out in the garage. Poor kid.) At least warn them, give them a chance to get out of Dodge before the fecal debris hits the rotating blades. Maybe this weekend. Maybe. If I don't avoid it. But I have walls to paint, workouts to do, problems to avoid. Shit.

206.5 days down. One muther of a problem to wrestle.

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old habits - new tricks