Less Scatteredness
2005-08-16, 8:20 p.m.

Day 358 Less scatteredness, more brain?

Still not doing all that great at getting back to the gym, but that�ll come. I know it will, because life is slowly returning to something resembling normal. For the new me, normal includes regular visits to the gym. Because I said so, dang it.

So, got my mom moved to her new digs. It�s really quite a nice little place. I know that in another week or two, she�ll have it all set up so we�ll know it�s hers. Right now, it still seems like a place she�s visiting, or taking care of for someone else. A little surreal yet.

Surreal, in spite of this: As I was driving the moving truck back to the rental place, I passed her (my own too) old house. This was maybe 6 hours after we had pulled out of there for the last time. The new owners were hard at work turning that place into their own � much as we were transmogrifying someone else�s former residence into something mom could call home.

Got to see one of my brothers for the first time in several years. He�s living in Tennessee these days and doesn�t get up here often. I get down that way even less frequently. We at least got a chance to spend some time together, talking about almost anything. I enjoyed it immensely. Gotta say though � he needs to get his butt to a gym. He�s already had a heart attack (last year, while he was only 44) and he�s not helping himself any. He�s 1.5 years younger than me, but looks older now. Of course, he�s losing his hair at a much more rapid rate, due to either poor health of the DNA he inherited, but that ain�t helping him look any younger.

His son is a real gem too. One of the nicest young men you could hope to meet. At 22, he�s a year older than my own oldest. Suffered through home schooling (long story), Jehovah�s Witness brainwashing (even longer story, and related to story #1), and has still managed to turn out pretty regular. He�s an impressive kid. Wish he�d had the opportunity of a conventional education (i.e. public schools) and 4 years of college. As it is, he�s working as an apprentice at a machine shop. Not bad money for someone his age, but he has the potential for so much more.

Speaking of oldest son, got him all situated in Syracuse for the coming school year. He and J, in an apartment, living all by themselves, trying to act like adults. J�s parents helped with the moving in. Kinda surprised me, but they are all for J shaking up with Z for this school year. They are of the opinion that it�s better she�s living with Z, whom they love & trust, than a bunch of random strangers in a dorm or apartment somewhere. I suppose I see their point, but I�m still a little shocked. When I was 21, I could only dream of such a situation. Now, my kid is living it. What sucks is that I had to take out a parents PLUS loan to help finance this, Z�s 4th (and probably not last) year of college. So he has figured out how to get his parents to pay the rent for an apartment in which he is cohabitating with his (actually very serious) girlfriend. Tell you the truth � I don�t think I could even have dreamed up such a good situation. Now I�m jealous.

Again, speaking of oldest son, took him and the family out to the Dinosaur Barbecue for his birthday dinner. Bellied up to the bar with him for legal beer #1. He got ID�d, of course. He did get his hand stamped so other servers wouldn�t have to ask him for ID again, but no free beers. Think he settled for a Yuengling. I cozied up to a Saranac Black Forest (darker than their Black & Tan, I think). Since I don�t drink much anymore, I feel justified in getting good beer when I do drink. None of that nasty mass produced Bud, or other bland, watery excuses for getting ethanol into your system.

C�s clots are progressing as expected. After some initial futzing around, the dosage levels on the coumadin are where they need to be and the testing frequency is down to once a week. As long as the blood stays thinned down, it turns into a waiting game. Waiting for the clots to dissolve on their own. Fun game. At some point there may be another visit to an ultrasound clinic to get a peek at the offended blood vessels and see if they�ve been cleared up. Don�t know how else they�d tell for sure that the clots are gone.

She�s been putting along pretty well in other areas too. Don�t think she�s lit up a butt, but there is a funky black smudge out on the patio. Looks suspiciously like someone stomped out a butt. However � without more evidence, no need to get all in a tizzy about it. Plus � she hasn�t smelled all smoky, and y�all know what I mean. She�s done pretty well on the drinking too. She has had a beer here & there, like at the Dinosaur the other night, but nothing serious. I did find a nearly empty ginger ale bottle in the fridge � and I know she was drinking something amber colored when I got home from moving Z last night. Again � there was no direct evidence of foul play � no booze breath, no glassy eyes, no mumbling, stumbling speech. So, gotta let it go. I did look for a fresh bottle of her favorite whiskey, but only found the last 4 (!!) 1.5 liter empties. Might get them out of the cabinet, just to clear it out. Wonder if she�ll notice??

Anyhow � she�s doing well trying to give up her vices. I don�t want to be all cheerleader-y and over do the rah-rah stuff. I also want her to know I am aware of her progress and am there for her to ask questions � especially on the smoking, because I�m believing I�ve got that licked for good. So I have to find that balance between over doing and under doing the support bit.

Poor E � aka the youngest son. He�s had little to no attention of late. No birthday, no moving, no addictions, no health problems. He doesn�t know how lucky he is. We�ll be packing him off to school this weekend. He�s really looking forward to getting back to the dorms and all his non-local friends. He�s involved in all sorts of extra-curricular stuff too � ultimate Frisbee, broom hockey, floor hockey, supporting Fredonia�s real ice hockey team, and more. Someplace in there I assume he�s doing some homework. At least the school keeps inviting him back. And his network of friends really miss him � if his IM traffic is any indication. Yeesh.

So. 1 week short of a year with no cigarettes. A year ago, I wouldn�t have thought it possible. Now, I can�t understand how it was I smoked all those years. The demon is still there, whispering about how nice it would be to have just one more drag, but he�s getting weaker, fainter, farther away. I like that.

Network at work is kinda kaflooey right now. Some of the network drives are working, others seem to be missing. My non-microsoft applications seem to have lost their drive connections, so I have no data to crunch. Now I have to default back to documentation rather than actual design work. Sucks, but at leat it gives me an opportunity to get it done. Which I�m going to go do. Right now. Without delay � as soon as I finish this. Really.

358 days down. 1 week to the 1 year anniversary of the smokefree-me. Whoda thunk it?

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