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2006-05-09, 1:42 a.m.

Day 624 Blunt

Because I don’t quite know how to convey this, and I know this one can’t be laughed off, I’ll be blunt.

Had Cindy taken to the hospital by ambulance tonight. She was extremely drunk, to the point of falling down, was stressed out about the situation with her Dad and had threatened suicide for about 2 solid hours – to the point of waving a knife around, threatening to use it.

I threatened to dial 911 if she didn’t hand over the knife. She told me to drop the phone. I demanded the knife, drop the phone, give me the knife, yada, yada, yada. I dialed 911 and had the ambulance & town police haul her off.

I followed to the hospital, of course. Once there, they did a quick work up. Her BP was 173/110, pulse was 138 (stress much?) 2.5 hours after her last drink she blew a 0.177 blood alcohol. That means she was up around 0.25 at her peak (when she fell back inside the family room through the garage door)

The ER cut her loose to the emergency psych Dept. She’s there now, drying out and getting psych eval when she’s sober. I did get to talk to the psych doctor and fill him in on my take of the situation. I think he’s ok with what’s going on and is aware of my concerns re her Dad’s situation, her mild but worsening depression and the drinking. I’m waiting for the doc to call me back and let me know if she’s coming home tonight or if she’ll be held for a day or two to come down a bit.

Not sure which one I’m hoping for. She’s REAL pissed at me right now. The psych doc of course didn’t promise to fix everything by morning. He did say that he’d set up appointments for follow on care regarding depression and also provide her with information (classes?, appointment with another doc?, AA?) on the alcohol situation.

I kinda quoted Alison and Mom-on-Roof and a host of others, with the whole “I can’t fix her problem - she has to want to fix herself” schpiel and the psyche doc said, “yeah, that’s pretty much the deal” (I’m paraphrasing liberally here) – that’s when he added the info about the alcohol after care.

I don’t know if this is the bottoming out point. Things could certainly be worse, but at the same time this is the worst it’s ever been. It’s going to be a while, if ever, before she accepts what went down tonight. I hope the psych doc has some luck calming her down, and maybe can make her see how she left me no options.

The psychiatrist also asked me if I thought she’d actually carry through with her threat. That was one tough question to answer. I still feel that she probably would not have done anything, but at the same time, I couldn’t very well have gone to sleep trusting that she’d still be with us in the morning. Too much risk. I also feel that deep down, this whole scene may have been a cry for help. There were a couple of points during the evening when I asked her if she wanted me to call the ambulance to come haul her away. Her response was that I should “do what I had to do”. Heh. Wonder which one of us called the others bluff?

I’m tired. Hope the doc calls soon.

Updated stats:
Weight start: 206.5 on 1/1/06 (265.0 on 1/15/05)
Current weight 193.75 on 5/5/06 (stress burns calories, right?)
Target: 180 by 7/1/06 (Start of swim suit season??)
Next “official” weigh in: 5/12/06

The Keep on Truckin goal: (idea stolen shamelessly from Marn’s Big Adventure)
Miles at speed 5/8/06: 346.24
Miles with cooldown: 381.39
Target for 2006: 1000 miles

Might have to add a little something for the 5K training too.

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