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Meltdown V.2 - The Prequel
2006-05-23, 11:43 a.m.

Day 639 Meltdown V.2 The Prequel?

This just in from our on site reporter in Rochester, NY -

Seismic sensors mounted on the slopes of Cindy Mons are picking up signs of deep temblors. These precursors are only apparent in some 10% all melt downs (Wikipedia, baby), so we are fortunate to have warning signs that “shit is about to blow up”. Again.

Preparations being taken include, but are not limited to:

1. - Warning all residents of La Casa Meltdown (i.e. people located within the immediate sphere of influence of Cindy Mons) of the significance of the recent seismic activity.

2. - Notifying all residents of La Casa Meltdown of the recent seismic history of the slopes on which they hope to eat and sleep. Forewarned is forearmed.

3. - Sending the Director of Emergency Preparedness (I gots a title!!) to a nearby preparedness meeting. The meeting will not reap immediate benefits (like by this weekend), but it will assist the Director and the residents of La Casa Meltdown long term. We have literature and are literate. If we put the two together, we may learn something!

4. - Early attempts were made to reduce the amount of liquid in the local reservoir to relieve pressure. Unfortunately, the supply from the main feeder reservoir is very stable and was used to establish a new local reservoir. That reservoir has been located, but efforts to limit the local supply have now been abandoned so that residents may better prepare themselves for the inevitable. “Shit is about to blow up”. See above.

5. – The Director and at least one of the residents will be partaking of a little stress relief activities later tonight. We love us some step aerobics.

All kidding aside, the bottom has apparently not been reached. I don’t know if she’s headed for the bottom of Lake Ontario or the Marianas Trench. Either way, I ain’t riding along. I will hover and observe from a safe distance. If she stays attached to the cable, maybe she can climb out herself. If I see signs of progress, I might help winch the cable along, but I’m thinking I’ll be advised to do otherwise. I am re-committed to attending an Al-Anon meeting that is not exactly close by, but the timing is excellent. I have been there once before and liked the feeling I got from the folks there for that one brief experience.

Y’all are aware that “Mons” is the name the NASA folks use for “Mountain” when describing Martian terrain, right? As in Olympus Mons – some big ass mountain on Mars. Now, I know, men are from Mars, women are from Venus, but I’m not sure if they use the same naming convention for Venutian mountains. I’m also aware that “La Casa” is Spanish and Mons is Martian (sorta), but we’re talking cultural fusion here today, so just go with the flow.

Went golfing with my boys Sunday, during some estro-fest jewelry party at the house. Weather was down right miserable (cold – like 45 degrees, 25 - 35mph winds, showers, even hail at one point, beautiful by Scottish standards!) but it was really interesting golfing in those conditions. Also beat the hell out of sitting in the house with a bunch of women gawking at jewelry catalogs. (Lia Sophia if any of you care). Plus, for the first time ever, Zach shot himself a birdie AND he beat me over the 9 holes we played. Both boys were also regularly out driving me, so I’m wondering about the effectiveness of all this working out. I might have bigger triceps than Serena, but it ain’t translating to the golf course, yet. Wonder if it’s the flat tummy part? Nah, look at John Daly.

Hmm. Also – look at my younger son. He’s more John Daly-ish than me-ish. HEY! I used to out drive them when I had a nice beer gut! I may have to live with being 10 yards shorter off the tee now. Sounds like a good deal.

Lovely workout this morning. Seemed to have plenty of energy, even though I got a terrible nights sleep (see above, "shit is about - oh - you know). Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to burn up the frustration that’s still smoldering in my gut. So rather than tackle asking Cindy just what her intentions are regarding depression and/or chemical dependancy counseling, etc., Jill (Zach’s girlfriend) and I are going to aerobics tonight. She’s been dying to see me actually DO step aerobics (like she thinks I can’t or something), and she wants to start a little conditioning regimen herself. So – tonight we start. Plus, maybe it’s a way I can get her to start calling me Brian instead of Mr. (insert my surname here).

Someplace up the corporate food chain, er, ladder, someone got the bright idea of starting this Wellness Challenge. Involves wearing a pedometer to track steps, tracking how many fruits & veggies one eats during the day, and also includes weekly lunchtime seminars on a variety of health related topics. They are encouraging the formation of teams. I went and asked our group secretary if there was any support for a team in our area. Apparently, I was the first to ask and have been tagged as team captain. Yippee. But we all get free pedometers and chances to win fabulous prizes every week. The first 500 to register get $50 gift certificates just for completing a health risk assessment. If I get one, maybe I’ll buy some pants that actually fit.

Stay tuned for reports on the status of Cindy Mons and the poor residents of La Casa Meltdown. It could be like reality TV!!

Updated stats:
Weight start: 206.5 on 1/1/06 (265.0 on 1/15/05)
Current weight 191.00 on 5/20/06 (No peeking Alison!!)
Target: 180 by 7/1/06 (Start of swim suit season??)
Next “official” weigh in: 5/27/06 (190 or bust!!) {this week}

The Keep on Truckin goal: (idea stolen shamelessly from Marn’s Big Adventure)
Miles at speed 5/23/06: 391.11
Miles with cooldown: 430.33
Target for 2006: 1000 miles

The Weighdown Stats

(yes, I know, reports are coming. Band Banquet Food Factor and all . . . those things are brutal, aren’t they?)

Victim Net Loss Weeks to go Target
Brian 2.75 5 14 (oy – that’s a ways off)
Sport 5 8
Alison 6 8

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