Altering Habits

Sponsor My Ride!!

Scotty's Place





Paint the shed?
2006-07-24, 3:47 p.m.

Day 701 What Shed?

So I had plans on maybe painting my tool shed this weekend. Weíd been in a lovely stretch of hot (really hot for us) sunny weather. Of course, once you make plans to take advantage of that lovely hot weather, what happens? Naturally, Saturday was a nice, quiet, gray drizzly day. Not so good for running extension cords across the wet lawn to power sanders and the like. Of course, with the sanding not done, the painting isnít happening. Enter Plan B.

Plan B? Come on, where are ya? Yeah, not so much. Of course, got the usual Saturday morning sweatfest in. Made a little side trip to the store. Needed a few things to properly prepare the pork butt weíd planned on smoking Sunday. That about sums up Saturday.

Cindy was stupendously hung over, whether sheíll ever admit it or not. Not my problem. At least those are the words that are supposed to be coming from my mouth. Friday night was a doozy. Thought we were on the verge of another breakdown, or maybe a break through.

I had this whole long, hour by hour account of the weekend done. It was lousy enough living it once. Wasnít fun to write, would be less fun to read (I know, I proofed it). Suffice it to say that little paragraph or so I was going to tell Cindy about her drinking and my reaction? You know Ė I canít tolerate her drinking, Iíll be steering clear of her when sheís drunk, no help from me yada, yada, yada?

Pam is the one who advised me to wait till she was sober before dropping that one on her. I believe that is sound advice. So sound, Iím still waiting for that sober evening to have that little talk. More than a week later.

Sheís got to have a sober moment again soon, right? Well, Saturday was close, but she was so hung over she never got off the couch. All day.

Sunday we had her dad over for the afternoon. THAT didnít stop her. He was at our house so we could review the estate planning work we had done for him. Shit, Bobís got Alzheimers and canít remember much, but Cindy kept trying to make the same freakin points, for ever. Bob and I would agree on something and move on, sheíd circle back 10 minutes later and want to go over it again. We ended up doing everything 3 flippiní times, and she still couldnít keep things straight.

I gave up and took Bob back to his place at the Legacy after dinner Sunday. (Yum, pulled pork, roast corn, grilled asparagus, pasta salad) We went over things once while we were there. I had him write a few things down (useless, as he will forget where he put the paper, or if he finds it, wonít remember what itís for and will toss it), just to make him feel better. His estate plan is rather straight forward. His wishes are simple, divide everything in half. Property, capital, cash, everything. Cremation, spread the ashes right where we spread his wifeís ashes. Easy peasy. Worst part? I get to be Power of Attorney, Health Care Proxy (for an Alzheimerís victim!) and Executor of his will. Know whatís left to me? Nothing. Should Cindy pre-decease he and I, half of his estate goes to our kids. (After this past week, thatís the only thing keeping her vertical {Iím kidding, mostly})

Ah well. Maybe tonight I can get in that talk. If she isnít already looped when I get home. When she gets all pissed at me for calling her an alcoholic and wants her alone time, I can head downstairs and get in some weight lifting. At least then, Iíll have gotten in my last sets of work on the old universal before Cindy tries to boot me out because she canít stand herself again. Hope the kids will be home tonight. I wonít ask them to be present when I have my talk with Cindy, but itíll be nice knowing theyíll be there for back up & moral support.

Of course, all things considered, I should drop the bomb (itís not THAT bad, is it?) tonight regardless. Iíve waited long enough. If need be, I can repeat it later, again and again. Probably will anyhow. But I think the initial thrust needs to be made Ė provided she isnít in such a haze nothing will penetrate it. I just want her to start to understand why the kids and I are reacting the way we have been lately. Get drunk Ė get used to being alone. If the phone rings and I see itís someone that probably wants you, I WILL answer it and give it to you. No hiding allowed. You want to drive somewhere? Gee, no, I havenít seen your keys. Deal with the condition you put yourself in.

No help, no harm, no hindrance Ė my new motto.

OH!! Added a comments tool thingy. Check them out. Kinda like the big kids now!!

Updated stats:
Weight start: 206.5 on 1/1/06 (265.0 on 1/15/05)
Current weight 185.75 on 7/22/06
Next weigh in: 7/29/06

New target Ė 8/22/06 to be at 180 (my 2 year quit anniversary)

The Keep on Truckin goal: (idea stolen shamelessly from Marnís Big Adventure)
Miles at speed 7/20/06: 563.71
Miles with cooldown: 619.93
Target for 2006: 1000 miles
Plus 45+ miles biking so far.

If you use a pop-up blocker, hit "Ctrl" when you click to leave a comment


old habits - new tricks