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Bowling Sux
2006-12-11, 8:26 p.m.

Day 841 Bowling Sux

Boy, did I put the hex on bowling last week. Shoulda started drinking after the first game. If it wasnít for all the driving coming up on Friday, I probably would have. Good thing I guess.

Turns out the graduation ceremony we went to last Friday was only for SUNY ESF students. We had thought that perhaps it was both SU (Syracuse) and ESF since it was on the Syracuse campus, but we were pleasantly surprised. They did the full pomp & circumstance, with the university regents all decked out in their fancy ass robes and the whole ESF Faculty in attendance. Only thing that wasnít real was the certificate in the little folder thingy they were handed up on the stage. Instead of their degree, it contained a notice that their real degree would be sent via the US Postal Service upon their successfully completing their finals.

Also very pleased to announce that Zach graduated (will graduate?) with Presidents Honors. Thatís a very nice recovery from his first year when he got placed on academic probation. Just took him a while to find his groove I guess.

The weather I fretted about (just a little) turned out fine. Well, fine for driving at least. We had about a Ĺ mile walk from the parking lot to the chapel where graduation was held. All uphill, and all up wind too. Temp was in the low 20ís with a wicked breeze. Worst part was waiting for Bob to try and catch up with us. Seems that 74 year old knees donít fare too well in our northern climate. I kinda knew where to go and was trying to keep pace with the folks that wanted to hurry and get out of the cold, but we also had to wait for the elders to catch up. Well, Bob at least. My mom was keeping up just fine, but sheís pretty inured to winter around here, never having escaped to Florida for entire winters.

Anyhow. After the festivities, we all decided it would be best if two of us (Zach & I) took the long walk to the vehicles, fast, and brought them back to where we could pick up the group, back near the Carrier Dome. Worked like a charm.

Had dinner at Smoky Bones. I just love their sausages, and the brisket isnít too bad either.

On the drive home from Syracuse, I could swear I heard Cindy say something about wanting to get an early start Saturday morning. We still had to go out and hunt down a Christmas tree, do some grocery shopping, finish off Christmas shopping, buncha things like that. Silly me, thinking an early start meant something like hitting up the grocery store around 8, skipped going to the gym. Sat around all morning waiting to get an early start. When Cindy left to do her LA weightloss weigh in thing around 9, I kinda knew Iíd been had.

Still managed to get our tree just before lunch. Going with a Concolar this year. Nice looking tree, longish gray/green needles, smells like an orange.

Cindy then made me a deal. If I put the lights and fake gold beaded chain thingies on the tree, then went to the grocery store, I could also go out and hit up the gym while she finished decorating the tree. (See, I complained about an Ďearly startí commencing around noon. I was just a little tweaked about it.) Told her sure, Iíd start right after lunch.

Turns out, she went grocery shopping while I did the lights. When she got back, I made some joking, wise ass comment about her not sticking to our deal. She actually took it as a joke. We got the groceries put away, then she practically kicked me out of the house and sent my to the gym. Supposed to stop and get a couple of movies on the way back too.

I entered the Y at 3:19pm. Did a rousing 30 minute stint on the tread mill. Did all the Nautilus gear. Upped the weight on every piece of leg equipment. Showered, changed, hit up the video store. Got home right around 5:30. Eric & Kelly had arrived, Jill & Zach were home from work. There was 1 (ONE, SINGLE) ornament on the tree. Cindy couldnít even speak English. Could barely stand. I was gone 2.5 hours.

At one point, Cindy was bending over the storage tote, trying to get another ornament out. I was afraid she was going to fall in. The kids & I mostly finished doing the tree, I think Cindy managed to drop a few ornaments before she finally gave up and went out & burnt dinner instead. Well, ok, she didnít burn it too bad. We were just warming up some gumbo we had frozen earlier. It stuck to the bottom of the pot some, but not horrible. The rice was waaaaaay over cooked though. Just starchy mush. Yuck.

Eric & Kelly headed back to school, Jill & Zach headed out with Zachís buddies. Cindy wondered why I was acting all pissed at her. That denial is something else, isnít it? I gotta get me some of that stuff.

So that was Saturday. I leave the house, she gets hammered.

Sunday. Lolly-gagged around all morning. About noon, Cindy asks me if I want to go shopping. As Iím doing my weekly paying of the bills routine. Thatís not so bad, but go shopping? In December, on a Sunday afternoon? No thanks. So she went without me.

When she came back, she messed up and let me see a receipt. I made a comment about something I saw on there. She looked at me like I ruined a secret. (I did) She fessed up that she bought me a new coat. After sheís been saying for weeks that weíre not to get each other anything for Christmas. Nice coat, but still. I returned an iPod nano I got for her because she was adamant about the no gift thing between us. She knows I returned it too. Now Iím stuck giftless.

Sunday being a good sale day, I tore off to the mall. Only had an hour before the Bills game came on. Didnít do too bad. Got a nice wool pea coat, (better than 50% off) a hat.gloves/scarf set, (again like 60% off) and also a new nightgown. The one she wears all the time is getting kinda threadbare. Had to make an educated guess on the coat size. When I got home, I used Jill for a sizing comparison. Jill is little taller and a little more broad shouldered than Cindy, so if the coat was a little snug on her, I figured Iíd be all right. Thing is, to me, buying fitted clothes for a woman is a mine field. There is one correct size. If you get a size too big, they think you think theyíre really that big. If you get a size too small, itís that you want them to be that size. Hell, even if you get the right size, it could be saying the wrong thing about your opinion of their body shape.

Really, guys are much simpler than that. We get stuff and hope it fits. We hope the recipient likes it. There are no hidden meanings, no unspoken messages, nothing to read between the lines. All that shit is invented by women. Why? I have no clue.

I had a point back there a while ago. Oh yeah. I went out shopping. Gone 1.5 Ė 2 hours tops. Guess what I found when I got home? Yup. Another opportunity taken advantage of. I leave, down the hatch goes the booze. Incredible. Made for another joyful evening.

Rather than never leave her alone in the house, Iíll just have to learn to expect her to be drunk & useless anytime I leave her alone for a couple of hours. The acceptance part of that is going to be real hard to swallow. For me, that is the hardest part of what Iíve been learning in Al Anon so far Ė accepting things as they are.

Frankly, Iím young enough to want a fresh start in the relationship arena. Thereís one thing holding me back. I have some responsibilities for Cindyís dad Ė executor, health care proxy, power of attorney Ė all that fun stuff. Iíll stick with things long enough to honor those commitments and try to work on accepting Ďother thingsí. But. When my commitments to Bob are fulfilled (especially the executor of the estate part), if there arenít signs of improvement in these Ďother thingsí, I will have to declare myself a free agent and work to unfettering myself. I donít know if thatís next year or in 10 years. But itís a plan. Iím really tired of pissing away my evenings watching someone pass out on a couch. Again.

Light workout this morning. 30 minutes on the treadmill, no weights Ė running late, again. But itís a start on improving the distance I can cover. Maybe Iíll start adding 5 minutes every other week. In 3 months, Iíll be up to an hour of running, non-stop. Then I can fret the pace. Itíd be really cool to run the local half marathon in September. Better save up my pennies for some decent running shoes.

Any visitors can always feel free to leave a comment. Think the link to email works too, but Iíve never really tried it. Give it a whack, Iíll let you know. Love getting tips for improving the old workouts, or debating the merits of letting oneís spouse self medicate with ethanol.

Weight Stats:

Start: 206.5 on 1/1/06 (265.0 on 1/15/05)
Current: 188 on 12/9/06 (New rut. At least it isnít going up.)
Next: 12/16/06 (I didnít dare last week)

New target Ė Aim is 180, by Christmas. Better get the rear in gear.

The Keep on Truckin goal: (miles piled up on elliptical trainers and/or running)
Miles at speed 12/6/06: 995.81
Miles with cool down: 1094.19
Target for 2006: 1000 miles at speed (cool down miles donít really count)

Thought about trying to hit 1000 on my birthday, but it would require too many days of no or very little running. See the comments on weight for why little or no running is a bad idea. Yeah.

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old habits - new tricks