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A Little Better Now
2007-03-28, 4:25 p.m.

Day 948

It’s amazing how calming it is just going to a meeting. Seeing the people, chit chatting around a little bit, sharing successes and struggles. No rancor, everybody gets along, we’re all just glad to be there. I felt better crossing the street and walking up to the church. Weird, but good.

In a continuing sign that some virus is trying to take over my body, very much against my will, I’ve just spent the last 10 minutes sneezing, nearly non-stop. Went to the gym this morning to try and burn the damn things out of my body, but could only muster 20 kinda sorta speedy minutes on the treadmill. Weight lifting part went fine, but I felt like I couldn’t get enough air , or wasn’t making the best use of it or something. Legs just felt wooden after 15 minutes. Thought I could hang on and squeeze out a 5k. The spirit was willing but the flesh was weak. Cut it a ½ mile short.

Even tried a healthy dose of Afrin before I left the house. Seemed to keep my head (sinuses) clear, but didn’t do much for getting energy into my legs. Unfortunately that bit about lasting 12 hours? Not going to make it. For now, things are ok, but I can feel the left side starting to close in again. Eyes are watery, would love to take a nap, but there’s too much to do here at the zoo. Well, except for my constant distraction of this stream of consciousness thing here.

So, meeting = good. Talked to one of the gals that goes to the Thursday afternoon gathering in the next town over. Looks like we’ll be meeting up there tomorrow. Hope my intended sponsor is there. Hope I muster up the testicular fortitude (that would be BALLS) to actually ask him. I can be shy like that. Shut up, I can too.

Not only is Cindy trying to get cuter about hiding her supply of cheap Canadian whiskey (not that all Canadian whiskey is cheap – she’s just buying the economy variety), she’s now getting more serious about hiding the actual vessel she’s currently drinking out of. I was puttering around on the computer early yesterday evening, getting our taxes done (whew!). Reached a point where I had a feel for what our return was, and wanted to get Cindy’s reaction. I poked my head out the front door, looked toward the garage where she was out sucking on a butt (every bit as nasty as it sounds), and asked her what she thought about getting xxx back. She immediately made sure her left hand and it’s contents (her favorite mug, with her favorite beverage – she wasn’t fast enough) were inside the garage where I couldn’t see them, then made some response like I was interfering with her meditation or something.

Oddly enough, she offered no resistance to my heading off to my meeting last night. My hat is also off to Zach who did a fine job of doing dinner (Smoked Chicken Caesar salad) and getting the after dinner clean up started. I need to make a special point of thanking him again for his efforts last night. I also asked him to not spend his time & efforts finding the hiding spot for the latest bottle, or counting how many drinks his mom has consumed on any given day. I try to gently remind him they are wasted efforts and won’t do anything to change the situation, except possible drive Cindy to getting slicker with her hiding techniques. Him being an “earth person” (my groups term for non-program people) he doesn’t quite grasp that yet. He’d benefit from going, but he thinks when he gets a job and moves out he can escape it all. Hah! He’ll learn.

When I got home later that evening, Cindy was actually civil. Drunk, but decent. As a reward to both of us, I kept it civil too. We chatted a bit about the 10 reams of paperwork I’ve still to go through regarding this transfer from current employer to new employer (new company, same job. Funky situation, all this change just to have no change). Even agreed on what to do with our tax returns even if it is only paying bills, woo-hoo! At least we’ll wipe a couple out completely. Some where in there I want to sneak in a new (to me at least) bike. Might cost an equal amount in negotiations. Have to see what I’m willing to bargain for.

This month’s al Anon Forum magazine had an interesting lead article: “I missed my wife even before she went into treatment” You can bet that magazine will find it’s way to the coffee table tonight.

Got all but one tiny section of the new circuit boards running. Need to do some power up checks, make sure the supplies come up in a nice orderly fashion, then cut this guy loose for the software boys.

I’m gonna sign off relatively early this go ‘round. This virus crap is dragging me down. It’s also cost the company about ½ a box of tissues today. My nose is nearly raw. And now, nearly 10 hours after the application of Afrin? Gone. May as well become a mouth breather. I need a nap.

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