Altering Habits

Sponsor My Ride!!

Scotty's Place





Great Start
2007-04-03, 4:51 p.m.

Day 954

So letís see, what have I messed up already today?

Never made it to the gym. Went to bed too late. Spent 2 hours after dinner spending my bonus paying bills and catching up the bank accounts. At least there are now 2 non-revolving credit accounts that will never see the light of day again. That was good. Staying up that late, then watching as much of the NCAA finals as I did was bad.

Havenít checked in with my sponsor yet. I will. Need to make plans for Thursday. Meet before or stay after to start getting into specifics? Decisions, decisions.

Got out a chunk of pork loin last night. Figured Iíd thaw it, then slice it down into chops. Have some nice pork loin chops for dinner tonight and have another 4 or so for another day. I was Ďsplaining this to Cindy this morning just as she came downstairs from her morning prep. What I got from her was a very snippy ďI donít care. Do what you want. I TOLD you Iím doing that fast forward (an LA Weight Loss term) . . . ď - at which point I stopped listening so I could respond extremely inappropriately. Lets just say I put some of my Army training to very good use. The verbal training, not the pugilistic stuff.

While I believed my reaction was justified (arenít they all, at first?), itís all IĎve been thinking about this morning. Which, of course, leads one to believe that maybe that response wasnít so well justified after all. But the words have been uttered, the physical echoes have long since died out. Itís the echoes in my head (and Cindyís too) that are still circulating. Loudly.

So, yeah. First gaff was in not waking up. Second misstep was a knee jerk reaction after being Ďawakeí for only 30 minutes, which led to the pre-occupation that caused the third (still correctable) screw up of the day.

Hmmph. Just ignored a phone call. Land line, office phone. Coulda been work related, coulda been Cindy. Could be saved on voice mail. Maybe Iíll go see. Hold on . . .

Not even saved on voice mail. Must have been another trade journal subscription come on.

Apparently, The Bob had a rough morning yesterday. He called Cindy bright & early. Couldnít find his stuff. Thinks he needs a table for his laptop. Canít get it into his head that the computer hutch is for all that and more. Swears he has no cords or power adapters for anything. Thinks I have them. Said he Ďdumpedí his suitcase. Packed it because he was going to Cindyís brothers for a few days. He thinks. Cindy asked him when Ė he doesnít know. Wayne wrote it on the calendar, but heís having trouble interpreting the starting & ending days. But heís packed for the trip regardless. Well, he was. While he was searching for all his cords & adapters, he dumped his suitcase, thinking that he had somehow packed them in there.

As you can imagine, this has Cindy in a bit of a tizzy. Control freak that she is, she tries to run her dads life, even though he lives 10 miles away. (Relatively close, yes, but not underfoot) Itís really quite a feat, because she also seems to be have a rough time tolerating any one on one contact with him. So she tries to get me to do her bidding in trying to Ďguideí his decisions. You might imagine how well thatís going for her. She tries to control me too, and I just wonít have it. Frustrates her to no end. She thinks that somehow she can use me to control her father? Good luck.

Against my better judgment (weíve seen how well thatís worked today Ė ergo, I think Iím safe here) I sent Cindy an email apologizing for my little outburst this morning. I think itís a pretty good one. Maybe I can paste it in here:

Sorry about my little outburst this morning.

I may not have liked your tone of voice or attitude in your response to my dinner plans, but I didn't have to respond the way I did.

I know you're frustrated with your dad's situation and that kind of affects everything else.

I will try to think a little before I open my mouth in the future.

I realize apologizing by email is tacky, but you also never seem to have time to talk on the phone during the day. This'll have to do until we can see face to face.

Added a little tidbit asking her what her needs were for dinner tonight Ė specifically what sorts and amounts of veggies she needed. Also dropped in a line about needing to eat a little earlier (6:30pm Ė woo!) so I could get to the calling hours for my parents former neighbor. (And get out to my meeting, but I left that tacit). That was 30 minutes or so ago. Nothing back yet. Sheís probably busy typing up the latest suspension letters for the schools better performing kids. Keep checking my work email - Iím kinda interested in her response. (Duh Ė brilliant sometimes, arenít I?)

Itís much later now. Averted two disasters here at the zoo and maybe straightened out a potential math problem for Circe. Now itís time to go home and see whatís cooking there.

Did finally get a response from Cindy regarding this morning. It was actually a response to my questions about her dinner needs, completely ignoring the whole apology part. Sweet. At least I donít have to worry about her dinner needs.

Think Iíll call it quits for now and go get ready for the rest of the day. Calling hours tonight. Man, I hate them. Itíll be good to see the rest of that family again though.

Later . . .

If you use a pop-up blocker, hit "Ctrl" when you click to leave a comment


old habits - new tricks