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Catching Up Again
2007-05-14, 3:13 p.m.

Day 995

Boy, itís been a while. Started an entry Saturday morning before the race, but got side tracked and had to let it go. Work has been really busy lately, which is always nice, but it doesnít leave much time at lunch for jotting things down here. Got a bit of a window this morning, so youíll get what ever falls out of my head in the next 15 minutes or so.

Side note Ė in a cubicle near me someplace, there is cell phone is beeping about once a minute or so. Donít know if itís a low-battery beep or a ďyou missed a callĒ beep, but itís about to become a ďHoly shit, heís got a hammer!!Ē beep.

Lets see Ė Thursdays meeting Ė eh, so so. Sometimes itís hard to relax and Ďget intoí that meeting because I know itís always going to be a little chaotic at home after. We seem to be managing ok, but itís always a crapshoot. The kids know whatís up but Cindy is just in denial.

Friday Ė zoo at work. Skipped Friday mornings spinning session with Gary the sadistic bastard to save my precious legs for the race Saturday morning. I donít even remember what happened Friday evening. Outside of Cindy doing her usual crash & burn, I think the kids went out with friends and I just killed time. Fun.

Saturday morning was bright, cold & breezy. Race was at 9:30, think I got there around 9:00 to allow time to stretch and warm up some. Thermometer in the van claimed it was 50 Ė 52 degrees at race time. Breeze was out of the northwest, gusting to 15+mph Iíd guess. It was enough that you could feel itís effects as you ran, even in a cross breeze. The side of my body that was getting hit directly by the breeze was getting really chilled.

Time wise, I didnít run as fast as Iíd liked. First mile was ok (7:20ish), but I had trouble finding people to get my pace off of after that. The second mile runs through a housing tract and has a bunch of turns too. Not like the turns could really slow you down that much, Iím just digging for excuses here . . . Finished about 40 seconds slower than I thought I could do, and my legs were a little more drained than they are after running 5k on the treadmill. Might mean I have to increase the slope from 0.5 to 1.0 to get a better simulation of outdoor running. Could also run outdoors more, but Iím saving that time for biking.

After the race Saturday, Cindy was unusually chipper, talkative and upbeat. She actually asked how the race went and if Iíd seen Joe there (our dentist. I didnít, I was bummed, he was going to be my challenge pacer) I in turn asked her how her morning swim went (2000 meters!!) and we spent time going over the grocery list and doing some typical, mundane weekend tasks. It was almost pleasant.

Then it got to be time for me to head out to Fredonia and pick up Eric. Rescue the poor village and campus from our younger son. Actually, it was more like rescue Eric from his roommates, before he started plotting their untimely deaths. With the exception of his girlfriend, he learned to intensely dislike and not trust his other two roommates. Late with payments, noisy, eating food that wasnít theirs, never cleaning up after themselves, getting arrested, causing the police to stop by Ė thereís a very long list of disagreeable traits that developed this year. Itís a product of living off campus too, I think, because neither of these kids (the Ďotherí roomies) behaved like this last year in the dorms. A little freedom went a long ways in exposing some character flaws in those two.

Anyhow. Get to beautiful downtown Fredonia and Eric & Kelly arenít home. I headed back to me van to grab my phone and notice I had missed 4 calls from Eric. They had turned in a bunch of bottles, mostly beer Iím guessing, and received over $50 in returned nickel bottle deposits. If youíre doing the math, thatís over 1000 bottles. They took their new found wealth and treated Kellyís parents to lunch at a local deli. Theyíd have treated me too, but I was a little late in getting there. Part of the reason was my having to make an emergency pit stop at the Applebees in town. Seems that 32 oz of water after the race that morning and the 20 oz coffee I grabbed as I hit the road all hit my bladder at the same time. There was no way on earth I was going to make it to their apartment, so I stopped. In hindsight, it was a good thing I did. With them not there, Iíd have been looking for a suitable tree to pee on, right in the center of Fredonia. Not good.

After tracking down Eric, Kelly and her parents, we got to the business of packing up Ericís stuff. He was actually fairly well prepared and the packing went smoothly. He & Kelly did their good byes (she lives in Syracuse, so they wonít be seeing each other much over the summer Ė poor kiddies!) and we hit the road.

We no sooner than hit the Thruway (what we call I-90 in these parts) and I got a distress call from Cindy. The dishwasher had leaked, again, getting water all over the kitchen floor. Then the washing machine seems to be having some trouble spinning water out of the clothes. Bummer. The dishwasher I kinda knew about. Itís getting old and has been acting up lately. The washing machine was a surprise. Itís REALLY old (20 maybe?) but has been running like a champ. Hoping it was just a balancing issue. Donít really want to get into appliance shopping scene just yet. One thing of note during this brief phone conversation was that Cindy appeared to be perfectly sober. At 4:00pm on a Saturday. (this is important later)

Get home, (5:30ish) get Eric unpacked, check things out. Cindy is practically hanging off of Eric in her attempt at welcoming him home. A little too, hmmm, ebullient maybe? Sheís obviously well on her way to getting tanked. Went in and checked out dinner. Enchilada filling partially completed, left in a mixing bowl. Guess drinking got to be more important than dinner for someone.

Once Eric was settled into re-organizing his room, I got to finishing dinner prep. Like making enchiladas is hard. I canít recall now, but there was something that needed a little cooking before it was added to the filling bowl. Not important. So there I was, out I in the kitchen finishing up dinner prep when I hear a loud THUMP out in the family room. Iím not sure exactly what happened, but it seems Cindy was having trouble with her target acquisition systems. Thatís one way I can explain how she ended up sitting on the floor, sorta between the coffee table (ohh, glass top too. Glad she missed that, I am NOT picking glass shards out of her ass.), sofa and love seat. I poked my head in long enough to see that she was ok (at least not bleeding or sporting broken bones Ė she was definitely NOT ok!) and went back to cooking dinner. Rest of the evening I spent listening to the hockey game on the radio.

Mothers Day. Odd day this year. My own mom is a Jehovahís Witness and chooses to not celebrate these things. I follow her wishes. Feels weird, but sheís never complained. I used to help the kids with getting cards and maybe picking out (and paying for) a present or two, but with them both in their 20ís, they donít need that kind of help. So this Mothers Day, I did nothing special for either my own mom or Cindy. Turned out to be one of the smoothest Mothers Dayís weíve had in quite a while.

Got lots of planting done. Started the re-arranging of shrubbery in order to cover up the deer induced damage. Five plants out (two arborvitae, 3 blue rug junipers) 5 new ones in (2 burning bush, 2 Moonglow Euonymous, 1 funky pinkish & green willow) and so far, 2 re-located (a holly and a Mugo pine entered the federal shrub protection program). Took before & after pictures too. Also went to the pond store and got advice on how to eliminate that ďpea soupĒ look the pond is sporting right now. Picked up a few plants for it, some new fish and some advice on how to kill the damn algae. Weíll know in a week if itís working.

Who knew that a card from the boys and a day spent planting things would do for Mothers Day? When I think of the time I spent wracking my 3 brain cells, trying to come up with the perfect gift, and all I needed to do was plant something . . .

Worst part of the whole weekend? Still havenít taken a trip on the new bike. Sux muchly. Maybe tonight, if I can get dinner well in hand early. Only need an hour to really give it a test run, maybe a 20 mile loop someplace.

Finally got back to the gym this morning after a 3 day absence. Nice little run, a tour of the leg machines in the Nautilus area. Really needed that. Looks like the break was good for my legs too. Weights seemed easier to move today, even after the run.

I am seeing signs of Al Anon starting to pay benefits. Lately, Iíve defused arguments before they start. I havenít been rising to offered bait, and Iíve been working really hard at not letting Cindyís actions get me flustered or angry Ė at least in front of her. The payoff has been her not doing an entire weekend of playing the part of the depressed, hung over drunk. There are still plenty of things to work on. I need to be more automatic with my lack of reaction and there are probably things I give away with body language. I also need to be more proactive at declaring my boundaries. So far, Iíve mostly let Cindy try and figure out what & where they are, and thatís not too fair. She needs to know, in no uncertain terms, just where Iím drawing the line. Of course, waiting for that perfect moment when sheís sober isnít helping any. Waiting for her to be sober is problem enough, but sober and in the right frame of mind? Donít know if Iím that patient.

Need to update more often. These 3 & 4 day catch ups are too freakin long.

Sabres game again tonight. On the Radio. Oh boy. Need a win in the worst way . . .

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old habits - new tricks