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A Funky Truce
2007-08-28, 5:31 p.m.

Day 1101

I stayed late at work last night, figuring Cindy would go to the gym, head for a meeting and finally roll in at home around 8:30. Offered to pick up a meal at @pplebees on my way home (Car side to go rules!!). Our email exchange got lost in the ether, so I called her around 5 to confirm.

She was unusually accommodating. She did, however, say she wasnít doing either the gym or the meeting but instead would be stripping some border paper off of Zachís former rooms walls and in general getting it ready to paint.

When I got home from work Ė dinner in tow Ė Cindy had tried to strip some of the border but made little progress. She also ran into some snags trying to remove the screws that mounted the blinds & curtain rods. Understandable. I made sure to bury those puppies in good solid wood.

What I didnít understand was the slowness of her movements. Just not quite up to full speed. A little too careful with some movements, and there was that damnable sniffing. Another 2 day dry streak broken. Oh well. One more nail. How many nails does it take to secure the coffin lid on a marriage? There are days I think one would do it, other days it might take a hundred. More & more lately, that number is closer to one.

Jill was justifiably steamed about Cindyís snooping. She did a great job of playing it down at the time, and has asked me to not bring it up with her. Which is fine Ė I have my own snooping incidents to deal with. I need to leave some obviously false, but very spicy Ďevidenceí in my briefcase. For the shock value. Just to let her know Iím aware of her poking around. Plus I canít resist the juvenile torture aspects of a prank like that.

Skipped the gym again this morning. Was supposed to be a running morning and I havenít been very fond of those lately. My hamstrings are still feeling the effects of those cramps yesterday. All this bike riding has put me off the running too. But tomorrow morning is bike riding again Ė Pedaling with Patty even. A guaranteed canít miss class. Maybe then I can ease back into the zone and get consistent again. Besides, I think Iím up a little weight wise and Iíd rather not go back to tracking everything again. Iíll cut out what I know is bad (Hot Fudge Sundays with Spanish nuts, peanut butter & honey sammiches at 10pm, peanuts any old time at all, white chocolate Reeseís cups at the grocery store check out line Ė sensing a theme here?) and get back to some serious sweating. 185 by my birthday. Since none of you know when that is, Iím safe, right? We can just let the end dangle out there indeterminately, until I one day get back to 185. I remember when my target was 180, back in the active dieting days. Sheesh. Be tough to get there. All that weight lifting ya know. Itís bulked me up (cough, cough) SO much.

Oh - the truce part. Since last Friday evenings little discussion, Cindy has been pretty civil. Itís not like weíre upstairs doing stress tests on the mattress springs or anything (not even close), but sheís at least responding to questions, talking, actually offering information instead of making me forcibly drag it out of her. Thatís been pleasant. Itís the part where she doesnít understand that her continuing to sneak drinks is a problem. She apparently thinks I canít tell. Heh.

Just talked to her on the phone. She was speaking Drunklish. Non-stop yakking. Sheís in that mode where she Just. Canít. Shut. Up. Offering up waaayyy too much information, slurring her speech, kind of in her ďhappy drunkĒ mode. She apparently thinks I canít tell. Heh. Again.

I feel like skipping my meeting tonight and going to commiserate with Ms. CL. I know, I know Ė DANGER WILL ROBINSON!! But seriously, you have NO idea. Well, some (one) of you do, but for the most part? She can unload on me about her 8th grade educated, bigoted, ignorant, control freak, 3 pack a day smoking, truck driving soon to be ex, and I can whine about my FILís with Alzheimerís and his drunk daughter. All while watching some gross movie like Saw III (which was excellent btw).

But. Iím thinking I need the meeting. Might even catch the girls up on whatís going on. At least as far as Cindy trying AA and slipping, slipping, slipping. I hope this one girl is there. She attends the same Friday AA meeting Cindy sometimes goes to. Iíd love for my Al Anon friend to sort of take Cindy under her wing Ė with Cindy not knowing. Is that too controlling? You really think so? Guess Iíll stay out of it. My side of the street and all . . .

Ugh. I gotta head for home. Need to get border stripper (all the good strip joints are just over the border in Canada actually) (So I hear. Iíve never been to the Canadian Ballet) and milk. Quite the combo, eh?

Till next time.

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old habits - new tricks