Reconciliation is Hard Work
2007-10-22, 12:00 p.m.

Day 1156

What a weird weekend. Went from zero to �dating� status by Saturday, and by Sunday we were almost acting like a happily married couple. Had a very nice dinner Friday night. Cindy and I hit up a local joint for a fish fry (we�re both SO catholic ya know) and actually talked about all sorts of things. She asked questions about Ms. CL (is she better looking, better at this, what about that?) I guess trying to find out where she ranked. I answered honestly for the most part. There was only one category where I had to tell a little white lie � and that was just to not dent Cindy�s pride. But for the most part, I think Cindy accepted that I was being candid. The whole dinner came off pleasant and I think we understood where each other was coming from.

Probably the hardest (and best) thing to admit was that this whole Ms. CL thing wasn�t just a physical, wham bam thank you ma�am kind of deal. I also told Cindy that it was filling a void that had been left unattended for years. Sure, I�m into my late 40�s, but I�m not dead � there�s still certain itches that need scratching from time to time, and quickie little uninspired sessions once or twice a year weren�t coming close to getting it done. I used that to illustrate to Cindy how it wasn�t just me that went out and had an affair � there had to be something missing in order for me to even be looking. Being sensitive to your partners feelings is a two way street. If you abandon your partner for any reason, by any method, be prepared to get the same treatment eventually.

I think she got it.

Saturday had the potential to be a long, tense day. We had to run the Bob to a ambulatory dermatological surgery clinic to get some lesions evaluated. He�d had them debrided a couple of weeks ago and the biopsies came back indicating they were cancerous. The surgical consult revealed that it was a slow growing, encapsulated form (Basal and squamous �not the more virulent melanoma variety), so some simple surgery, a little do-flap and maybe a tiny skin graft and he�d be set. Looks like it�ll be done in 2 day long sessions over the next couple of months. The sessions are only day long because they do a little curettage, take a little more tissue than they think is necessary, then do biopsies right in their clinic to evaluate the margins. If it looks like they got it all, you�re called back in for closures. If not, they cut a little deeper and re-test. You don�t get closed up until they believe all the cancerous growth is gone. Pretty good system. Could make for a long day, but it keeps it limited to that day. It�ll be done in two sessions just to keep the work done on any one day manageable. Bob�s got like 6 areas that need attention, 4 on his scalp, one on his nose and one on his back. He�s blaming all those vacations in Ft. Myers, getting just a little too much sun in his younger years.

At any rate, we�ll get him taken care of. Only difficult part may be in getting him to lay off aspirin a eek before the surgeries. He takes one a day as a stroke/heart attack preventative measure thing. He�s done it long enough that it�s really ingrained into his routine � Alzheimer�s or not. I�m thinking we�ll just stop over some day and flat out remove all the aspirin from his apartment, but there�s no stopping him from taking the shuttle to the store and re-stocking. I�m just worried he�ll forget to NOT take it and do what he has to do to keep taking it. He can get singular minded like that. It�s like he knows his memory sucks, so when he latches onto an idea he clings to it for dear life. Sux muchly.

So the surgical consult and a trip out for brunch afterward consumed the morning. That left a few hours before we were to head off to my mom�s for taking care of a few minor maintenance items and then being rewarded with dinner. So what�d we do to fill the time? (no � not THAT. Yet.) Got this home designer program. Been dying to measure up the house and get it plotted in there. That file can then be used as a base for remodeling plans. We spent a few hours measuring the house and getting the exterior and first floor drawn up. Neat toy.

Dinner at mom�s was � diner at mom�s. Cleaned out her gutters, pruned a willow, putzed around with her lawn mower. Had dinner and sat around playing euchre with Zach, Jill, mom & myself. Cindy �scused herself off to an AA meeting. Not to my mom, but the rest of us knew what was up. We�ll tell her some day, maybe. Just told my mom she had a meeting to be at. Not for nothing, but dear ol� madre may have figured what was up and just didn�t say anything. They�re wily like that ya know.

Sunday? Gorgeous summer weather up here in the north east. At the end of October. Got yard work done, went grocery shopping (exciting, no?) watched the Bills actually win a game when they had the lead in the first quarter. Funny part about the Bills? Their defense has been decimated by injuries. Something weird like 5 starters were injured in the first 2 weeks. 3 of those replacements have since been hurt. But with all the injuries on defense, it�s still the offense that�s struggling. Only person hurt on offense was the former starting quarterback. His replacement has been at the helm for the team�s two wins. Like job security much Mr. Losman?

Remainder of the day was spent tweaking the house re-design. Took out a wall, re-arranged the cabinets. Basically turned our dine-in kitchen and dining room into a larger dine-in kitchen with no dining room. Shuffled around some windows, moved the sliding glass doors, juggle the cabinets and poof!! New room. Up next is the first floor laundry with no additional floor space needed. Don�t know when the work will start, but I think I know what The Bob is getting us for Christmas. (Can you say Pella Slider?)

It�s a moral dilemma (yet another one of THOSE) but as power of attorney, I have authority to bequest gifts of up to $10K per person, per year, should I so choose. Wonder if my brother in law wants to put up a garage? If so, that would help solve one aspect of my latest dilemma.

The other remainder of the day was spent watching Zach play roller hockey. He scored the teams first two goals, assisted on two others and wiped a guy out pretty bad � but didn�t get called for the penalty. First game I�ve seen play where he�s stayed out of the sin bin. Quite an accomplishment.

In spite of last nights late aerobics (ahem), still managed to go biking with Billy this morning. Great selection of tunes today too, but they were all on the slower tempo side and that means only one thing � lots of hill climbing. My legs still have that nice buzz going. Love it. Cindy? Alarm clock went off at 5. I got up � she slept in till 7:20. Me thinks she needs to start a little sooner. One thing we gotta work on though. That cigarette breath is a killer. That�ll be sure to make my 5 likes & dislikes list � which I�m going to go work on right now. Later

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