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Reconciliation is Hard Work
2007-10-22, 12:00 p.m.

Day 1156

What a weird weekend. Went from zero to ďdatingĒ status by Saturday, and by Sunday we were almost acting like a happily married couple. Had a very nice dinner Friday night. Cindy and I hit up a local joint for a fish fry (weíre both SO catholic ya know) and actually talked about all sorts of things. She asked questions about Ms. CL (is she better looking, better at this, what about that?) I guess trying to find out where she ranked. I answered honestly for the most part. There was only one category where I had to tell a little white lie Ė and that was just to not dent Cindyís pride. But for the most part, I think Cindy accepted that I was being candid. The whole dinner came off pleasant and I think we understood where each other was coming from.

Probably the hardest (and best) thing to admit was that this whole Ms. CL thing wasnít just a physical, wham bam thank you maíam kind of deal. I also told Cindy that it was filling a void that had been left unattended for years. Sure, Iím into my late 40ís, but Iím not dead Ė thereís still certain itches that need scratching from time to time, and quickie little uninspired sessions once or twice a year werenít coming close to getting it done. I used that to illustrate to Cindy how it wasnít just me that went out and had an affair Ė there had to be something missing in order for me to even be looking. Being sensitive to your partners feelings is a two way street. If you abandon your partner for any reason, by any method, be prepared to get the same treatment eventually.

I think she got it.

Saturday had the potential to be a long, tense day. We had to run the Bob to a ambulatory dermatological surgery clinic to get some lesions evaluated. Heíd had them debrided a couple of weeks ago and the biopsies came back indicating they were cancerous. The surgical consult revealed that it was a slow growing, encapsulated form (Basal and squamous Ėnot the more virulent melanoma variety), so some simple surgery, a little do-flap and maybe a tiny skin graft and heíd be set. Looks like itíll be done in 2 day long sessions over the next couple of months. The sessions are only day long because they do a little curettage, take a little more tissue than they think is necessary, then do biopsies right in their clinic to evaluate the margins. If it looks like they got it all, youíre called back in for closures. If not, they cut a little deeper and re-test. You donít get closed up until they believe all the cancerous growth is gone. Pretty good system. Could make for a long day, but it keeps it limited to that day. Itíll be done in two sessions just to keep the work done on any one day manageable. Bobís got like 6 areas that need attention, 4 on his scalp, one on his nose and one on his back. Heís blaming all those vacations in Ft. Myers, getting just a little too much sun in his younger years.

At any rate, weíll get him taken care of. Only difficult part may be in getting him to lay off aspirin a eek before the surgeries. He takes one a day as a stroke/heart attack preventative measure thing. Heís done it long enough that itís really ingrained into his routine Ė Alzheimerís or not. Iím thinking weíll just stop over some day and flat out remove all the aspirin from his apartment, but thereís no stopping him from taking the shuttle to the store and re-stocking. Iím just worried heíll forget to NOT take it and do what he has to do to keep taking it. He can get singular minded like that. Itís like he knows his memory sucks, so when he latches onto an idea he clings to it for dear life. Sux muchly.

So the surgical consult and a trip out for brunch afterward consumed the morning. That left a few hours before we were to head off to my momís for taking care of a few minor maintenance items and then being rewarded with dinner. So whatíd we do to fill the time? (no Ė not THAT. Yet.) Got this home designer program. Been dying to measure up the house and get it plotted in there. That file can then be used as a base for remodeling plans. We spent a few hours measuring the house and getting the exterior and first floor drawn up. Neat toy.

Dinner at momís was Ė diner at momís. Cleaned out her gutters, pruned a willow, putzed around with her lawn mower. Had dinner and sat around playing euchre with Zach, Jill, mom & myself. Cindy Ďscused herself off to an AA meeting. Not to my mom, but the rest of us knew what was up. Weíll tell her some day, maybe. Just told my mom she had a meeting to be at. Not for nothing, but dear olí madre may have figured what was up and just didnít say anything. Theyíre wily like that ya know.

Sunday? Gorgeous summer weather up here in the north east. At the end of October. Got yard work done, went grocery shopping (exciting, no?) watched the Bills actually win a game when they had the lead in the first quarter. Funny part about the Bills? Their defense has been decimated by injuries. Something weird like 5 starters were injured in the first 2 weeks. 3 of those replacements have since been hurt. But with all the injuries on defense, itís still the offense thatís struggling. Only person hurt on offense was the former starting quarterback. His replacement has been at the helm for the teamís two wins. Like job security much Mr. Losman?

Remainder of the day was spent tweaking the house re-design. Took out a wall, re-arranged the cabinets. Basically turned our dine-in kitchen and dining room into a larger dine-in kitchen with no dining room. Shuffled around some windows, moved the sliding glass doors, juggle the cabinets and poof!! New room. Up next is the first floor laundry with no additional floor space needed. Donít know when the work will start, but I think I know what The Bob is getting us for Christmas. (Can you say Pella Slider?)

Itís a moral dilemma (yet another one of THOSE) but as power of attorney, I have authority to bequest gifts of up to $10K per person, per year, should I so choose. Wonder if my brother in law wants to put up a garage? If so, that would help solve one aspect of my latest dilemma.

The other remainder of the day was spent watching Zach play roller hockey. He scored the teams first two goals, assisted on two others and wiped a guy out pretty bad Ė but didnít get called for the penalty. First game Iíve seen play where heís stayed out of the sin bin. Quite an accomplishment.

In spite of last nights late aerobics (ahem), still managed to go biking with Billy this morning. Great selection of tunes today too, but they were all on the slower tempo side and that means only one thing Ė lots of hill climbing. My legs still have that nice buzz going. Love it. Cindy? Alarm clock went off at 5. I got up Ė she slept in till 7:20. Me thinks she needs to start a little sooner. One thing we gotta work on though. That cigarette breath is a killer. Thatíll be sure to make my 5 likes & dislikes list Ė which Iím going to go work on right now. Later

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