Altering Habits

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The Day After the Day After
2007-12-27, 3:39 p.m.

Day 1222

I am STILL suffering the after effects of munching too many ribs Tuesday. The worst part of all? At spin class Wednesday morning, Iíd have these burps come along as we were pedaling our butts off. Just from getting things stirred up I guess. Every little eruption tasted like ribs. Not a bad thing in and of itself, but geeze, smoky stuff like that at 5:30 in the morning? Not again, thanks.

Iím trying to build up the courage to step back on the scales before the end of the year. Iím also prepared to go back on my more strict dieting regimen. I have obviously NOT retrained my mind & body with better eating habits. Of course, this is the absolute worst time of year for realizing that. There are still SO MANY cookies to be eaten! Unfortunately, those nice 34 waist pants I fought to get into are now getting a little snug, and not in a good way. At least the 36ís are still loose. But man, I gotta work my way back down so Iím comfy in those 34ís

Cindy insists that I just have to develop some self-discipline. I insist that itís easier to just eliminate the temptation entirely. Of course, that takes a wee bit of self-discipline at some point Ė like NOT buying the peanut M&Mís, or NOT baking the cookies. But that is one instant of self discipline that eliminates many future instances of temptation. Itís all in the timing. If I can resist it once, usually at the store, and not bring it into the house, then thereís no lingering temptation. Or guilt. Win Ė win situation.

Something that came up in one of my head shrinking sessions is an explanation for 2 things that seem to be running counter to each other. Think I covered this before, but youíre stuck reading it again.

First thing is Iíve turned into a chocolate hound the last 3 or 4 months. In the past, chocolate was a take it or leave it kinda thing (hard to believe, I know) but lately Ė I canít seem to get enough. Annette says it could be from a vitamin B deficiency that could be brought on by stress. Somehow the whole affair getting blown up deal caused much stress that sucked up all my B vitamins and makes me go nuts for chocolate. But now the worst of the stress is over. Maybe a little B vitamin therapy will help reduce the chocolate binging.

The other thing is my miserable attendance/participation at the gym of late. Since October Iíve been managing to get in the 3 spin classes a week and thatís it. No jogging, no elliptical, no weights. Thatís certainly contributed to my little bit of weight gain. I can also feel it in spin classes in reduced endurance. Sad, sad state of affairs.

Not like that got me to the gym this morning. And that, according to Annette, is evidence that Iím no longer using the gym as an escape. An escape from Cindyís drinking, her attitude, her behavior. For the most part, over the last couple of months thereís been nothing to escape from. So Ė no stress from a relationship angle, but lingering stress over the whole affair dealie. Seems odd. Not going to the gym because of a lack of stress, but craving chocolate because of stress. Which is it? I asked Annette about this apparent dichotomy. She had no solid answer Ė just pieces of the puzzle I suppose.

What I need to do is to make some sort of agreement with Cindy. Some sort of deal that lets me spend time at the gym without taking time from her. Weekday mornings isnít an issue Ė itís trying to get in a quality workout at least one day on the weekends thatís a problem. Iíd like to take about 3 hours Ė thatís a big chunk of the day. Weíll come up with something.

Saturday night we go to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra. Iíve had the tickets since September. Canít wait to see them. Weíre going to be right up front. Hereís the BCA seating chart:

Weíre lucky enough to have tickets in Section 31, Row F. Pays to buy tickets during the pre-sale. I may try and smuggle a camera into the show. My little Kodak jobber (V530) is small enough, might work nice. Youíll know come Monday. There will be either pictures or a bail posting.

Got a call from one of the broís Ė heís too sick to bowl tonight. Thatís sick. Really sick. I talked to him briefly on the phone. Man, Iím glad thatís as close as I got. He sounded terrible. Tried to get Zach to sub for him, but heís got his review at work and isnít sure itíll finish in time. Wouldnít be good to be constantly checking your watch during a review, so heís gotta take a pass on it this time. Thatíll leave me (oldest) and the youngest brother to defend our honor tonight. Better to let #3 recuperate. He sounded just completely sapped of energy. Poor guy. Give him a week of rest, let the creeping crud run itís course and heíll be raring to go next week.

Got a tight schedule for the rest of the day. Need to pick up Eric at 4:30 and get to bowling before 4:45. Itís a 10 minute drive in very good traffic (i.e. none). Hope the weeks lighter than normal traffic load holds true.

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old habits - new tricks