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Lawyers again (but not for THAT!)
2008-01-24, 4:30 p.m.

Day 1251

I have this problem with not wanting to tell people things they don�t want to hear. It�s permanently tied to my desire to not piss people off. Just seems to make the world go �round a little smoother. Except inside my head.

I�m faced with telling my BIL that there isn�t going to be any more free college money for his kids. I�m a little concerned that he�s going to take that information a little poorly. I�m also concerned that he may download some power of attorney fill in the blank forms and trot his dad off to some notary public and �convince� him to change his power of attorney.

An alternative is to concede that a second PoA does exist, but with BIL & I named as joint agents. I don�t like that one because it is set up so that both agents may act alone. I�d be more comfortable if we both had to act together.

Made an appointment with The Bob�s estate attorney � but it�s MY appointment, MY dime, so we get to talk about what most concerns Cindy & I. It�s set for Tuesday afternoon. I�m hoping to get some advice for how to best handle securing The Bob�s bucks so they are there for him for as long as he needs them.

Keeping Bob�s bucks for Bob. That�s the major concern. A lesser concern is equitableness. (Wow. MSW@rd thinks that�s a word. I�m shocked. Wonder if it means what I think? Hold on a sec . . .) (Hot damn � got lucky)

Equitableness. For instance. Bob pays for the BIL�s kids remaining college. 6 years worth. Lets say Bob passes not too long after that. There�d still be a sizable estate left to split, we�d just take the advanced college funds into account. They would become part of the BIL�s half of the split. No problem.

Now lets say that Bob still pays for BIL�s kids college. But Bob lives another 15 years. All his funds are gone and he�s existing on social security, pension & medicare. There is no estate to split, but BIL is advantaged by 6 years of college having been paid for, while Cindy & I are left holding the bag for our kids college. Not equitable.

BIL�s proposed solution? Have The Bob pay off our kids college loans. And still pay for BIL�s kids college. Rough estimate shows that takes 2 years off of The Bob�s funds expectancy. (Nice to have sold a 3000sq. ft. Florida home within minutes of the gulf, eh?)

Thus my objective. BIL is to finance his kids remaining college years the old fashioned American way � borrow like a mad fool and scramble to keep up on the payments. Like someone else I know. My point to the BIL will be this � I don�t know when his dad is going to die. Because I don�t know how long Bob is going to live, I don�t know how much money he will need to cover his expenses. Therefore, open ended �loans� for college expenses are done. Period. If he can show me rejection letters from college lenders (for him, his wife and his kids), I might concede to providing absolute minimum funds (as in give me the bill, I will pay it � no �expenses� - get a campus job kiddies). Bottom line is if you want to go to college, there are ways to get money that don�t include sponging off grandpa. Or dad.

When BIL can tell me with absolute certainty the exact date & time his dad is going to bite the bullet, I will gladly let him use half the estate funds that might be left at that time. Until he can provide me that data � I�m preparing for The Bob to live for a very long time.

Got to take Bob to the Doc�s again Friday. A follow up with a GP geriatric doc. Need to see if swapping out his verapamil for nifedical is still hunky dory. During the time we will spend with him, I intend to record a conversation we�ll have regarding use of his funds. I hope to get some stuff I can use with both the lawyer and the BIL.

I also hope the meeting with the lawyer Tuesday provides me with a way of protecting against the BIL trying to out flank us and strong arming Bob into signing a new PoA. I really hope my non clandestine recording of our conversation helps. (Yes, I�ll tell Bob I�m recording, and me telling him will be recorded.)

Sounds all cloak & dagger. I�m disappointed that I feel I have to do it this way. It�s making my hair turn gray all too fast. Still, I think what is planned is good, I just want it to be enough

I need to go bowling tonight. But. There�s one thing I dislike about bowling sometimes. Because we�re all a bunch of old farts, we get anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes of warm-ups before we actually start the score keeping portion of the evenings festivities. THE one thing I dread is getting a strike on the first ball I throw in warm ups. It bodes ill for the rest of the evening. Mostly because that first shot? Slow. Plus I think it�s just bad luck. It seems I�m only allowed so many strikes in an evening, why waste them in warm ups? Silly superstition I know. Things is I could avoid it by intentionally throwing a bad shot � but the superstition in me believes that will reflect poorly too. Sort of the ol� �You keep making a face like that it�ll freeze that way!� effect. So no throwing bad on purpose, because after that, it�s all you�ll ever do.

Who knew bowling was so complicated?

Got a simulation running. I�ve been bouncing back and forth between my simulator and this all day. My sim will be another 20 minutes or so. Before it finishes, I will be outta here. So I have to post this drivel and hope putting it here helps get it out of my head. Sorry to pollute your minds with this bunk kiddo�s.

ttfn


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old habits - new tricks