Altering Habits

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They’re Heeeerrrre!
2008-03-06, 3:06 p.m.

Day 1293

Or however the hell you spell that.

The delivery guys must like to pull jokes on folks. We were told we’d be the first delivery in the afternoon. I ended up taking the entire day off so I could do kitchen stuff while lolling around waiting for the delivery guys. (Alison – I DID NOT put my feet up. Till much later in the day. Sorry to disappoint J)

Thinking I’d like to get the cabinets in the house in one piece, about 8:45 or so I headed outside to clear the driveway of the snow & ice that was deposited there over night. The 3 or 4 inches of snow was a breeze. That lower inch or so of ice had other plans though. So I gave it a nice dose of rock salt, figuring that it’d brake up the ice pretty nicely by noon or so.

About 9:15 I got back in the house, grabbed a cuppa and heard my phone chirping. Missed two calls, both from the same number in the next area code east. Hoping maybe it was my long lost buddy Serena, I gave the number a call. Serena did not answer. Bummer. It was the cabinet delivery guys, saying they were 4 miles from my house and would be there in like 10 minutes. Shit, shit, shit!!! The garage was NOT ready for this. So of course, I said “Sure stop by with the cabinets, I’d love to get them now!!” as I went screaming out into the garage to clear out some room.

You should see the garage now. Ooff. Full only starts to describe it. I have pictures. Soon as I get them re-sampled I’ll post one or two.

Got a pesky plumbing leak fixed – mostly. I’m less than pleased with how it turned out. Can’t believe how tight I had to make a connection. Seems like some threads must be munged up. No way it should take that much pressure to seal a joint. When I put the real sink base in I plan to replace the sweated on thread adapter. The old one is just giving me the willy’s. It must have gotten damaged during the sink move.

While I was whiling away my day, got more flooring up and put in a wall extension. One more stub wall to go, than it’s time to go nuts and finish the drywall. Got some minor wiring on the north, south & east walls. Lets see – on the north, one outlet to move, a phone jack to install, two outdoor lights and a switch to put in. South wall – two undercabinet lights to wire and old tile to remove. East wall – two outlets to move.

Then we get to seal it all up and go nuts with the mud. After mud, we paint. After paint – cabinets. And someplace in there the rest of the dining room floor has to come up (60 minute job – tops – including yanking all the old nails) and the remaining underlayment put down. Seriously, it looks like cabinets will go in Easter weekend. Coincidentally, I clearly remember tiling the previous (former current?) backsplash Easter weekend 8 years ago. Got to use a wet saw for the first time. What a neat toy!!

So that’s the high level view of the near term schedule for the big kitchen re-do. Cabinets by Easter or bust! Bust what, I don’t know. Taking tomorrow off too, just to get more quality time in the kitchen. I can get so much done if I’m alone and the stereo is just cranking. So much easier to concentrate.

Had a couples session with the therapist yesterday too. Rather disappointed in myself. I had the opportunity to bring up a couple of slips Cindy has had in the last couple of weeks and didn’t. Initially, I had though it would be a good place to do it. I could use the therapist as a referee. She’s not afraid to call bullshit when she smells it. It was a very good opportunity to open up with “now this isn’t a deal breaker, but I’ve noticed over the last couple of weeks that you’ve had a few drinks while I was out bowling.”
I’ve avoided bringing it up at home because I didn’t want to present Cindy with the need to lie and deny that she’d been drinking. Because if it’s just the two of us discussing it, I fully expect her to deny it. But there is a list of at least a half dozen tells she has that are undeniable. In no particular order, they are:
1. The eyes. Glassy & marble like.
2. How she holds her hands. Up a little too high – like a prairie dog or squirrel. And she fans her fingers – like a little mini-wave.
3. Speech – slower, more deliberate, obviously trying harder to not slur.
4. locomotion – her entire body doesn’t move in the same direction at the same time. Kinda wavers as she walks.
5. When she does walk, it is sooooo ssllloooowwwwww. Like she has to think about where to put her foot. (Part of that may be me too – I tend to walk/move rather fast and I hate getting behind her going anywhere – such tiny steps)
6. The sniffing. It’s like the booze tickles her nose and she’s trying to sniff the tickle away. I consistently ask her if she needs to blow her nose, but she’s unaware that she’s even doing the sniffing thing. Drives me nucking futz!!
7. Oral diarrhea. Can’t. Shut. Up. For ANYTHING.

Mind you, these don’t all show up unless she’s pretty far along (equivalent of maybe 4ish beers), then it gets progressively and proportionately worse. What I’ve noticed is a bit of #’s 1, 2, 4, 5 & 7 the last two Thursdays. Maybe 3 or four beers worth. One other night, Zach was over before I got home. He pulled me aside and told me he saw her drink (noun, not verb) and thought for sure she had a stash upstairs. He was really disappointed that I my response was “Not my decision bud. I can’t make her not drink.” I could see him deflate. I think he wanted to do the whole Carrie Nation thing. (Which would be a bit of hypocrisy on his part. He likes a beer or two – he just doesn’t go overboard)

Anyhow. Didn’t bring it up in therapy. We got off into communication, differences between men’s & women’s styles, what we’ve changed in ourselves in trying to match the others expectations (in communication). I didn’t want to derail that particular train. Interestingly enough, it came down to that age old difference between men & women. Women (I guess) like to talk about a particular problem. More than once. Actually, they like to talk about it over and over and over. Take it apart, analyze it, put it back together, take it apart again. Guys? Talk about it once. Fix it. Done. Next!! What – you want to talk about that again? Talking about it doesn’t fix it!?! Why do you want to bring that up again? I told you how to fix it. Why do we need to discuss it again. Has it changed any from the last time we talked about it (10 minutes ago)? No? Then why are we talking about the same damn thing. Again. Gaaahhhh – you’re making me want to self medicate!

Then I get on my bike and ride for 3 hours. Just to Batavia and back (25 miles one way). Except it’s winter and I can’t ride!! That’s when guys appear to fall asleep. Or get so absorbed in that repeat episode of Myth Busters. (Well, that red head IS kinda cute – Kari, not Adam.)

I guess that’s why gals have girl friends. Because they understand that need to just talk through a problem. Guys? Well, guys have guy friends so they can go out and do testosterone laden things like drool over tools, or watch (or even play) sports, or have conversations that consist of nothing but grunts & burps (not really, but it’s not THAT much of a stretch).

Speaking of playing sports – bowling tonight. We’re in 2nd place, 15 points out of first. If the first place team takes even 2 points, it’s done. Then we have to worry about securing second seeing as we only have a 5 point lead. It’s entirely possible (even likely) that we won’t lock up second place tonight. We’d have to win 2 or 3 points more than the 3rd & 4th place teams and there’s no guarantee of that. Then of course the last week is a position round. 1 bowls 2, 3 bowls 4, etc. Gonna be difficult to hold on to second place a it is. All for that extra dollar a man in prize money. Woo-hoo!! Really, it’s more the bragging rights. And next season your team number is the place you finish in this season. Like this year – we’re team #18. Sucky year. 18th out of 24. The year before that we were #2, and before that #6. It’ll be good to get rid of that really high team number. It’s a reminder of a pretty poor season.

So. Bowling tonight. Might even have a beer. A Yeungling, just for PJ (peej) To congratulate her on her new job. (You did get hired, didn’t you?) (You did take the position, didn’t you?) (?) (!) (!?!)

And back to that Cindy slipping bit. Thought I’d put my big boy shorts on and give it a whirl by myself. Without the therapist to play referee. Hopefully, that will force me to keep it in terms of how I feel and how it affects me and not get all “oh, you effed up sooo bad!!” I think I can actually do this . . .

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old habits - new tricks