The Things I've Seen
2006-03-07, 5:31 p.m.

Day 562 The Things I have seen

Heeded my own advice and avoided fried substances when we went out to eat Friday night. Had me a nice broiled mahi mahi filet. With some rice pilaf, a Caesar salad and a lovely 16 oz. Yuengling draft. First beer in over a week. That�s actually kinda short between beers for me, considering how I�ve been drinking in the past year or so. Really turning into a panty waist when it comes to drinking. Of course, that�s no doubt helped the weight loss, so I think I�ll stick with it for w wee bit longer.

At the gym last Saturday, I was minding my own business in amongst the weight machines. The way things area arranged, there is an area where the machines are placed in close proximity to each other. Actually, there are 4 machines placed such that if one person gets up to move, anyone on any of the other 3 machines has to wait for person #1 to clear out of the way.

I�m on the Seated Row, forced to look in towards the tight area. As I�m rowing away, I notice an older gentleman on the shoulder press, to my left front, all of 3 feet away. When I say older gentleman, I�m talking 75 � 80 years old. Bald, glasses, not very tall, pretty slender guy. Maybe 5�6�, all of 130 pounds. Has a slight tremor in his hands if they�re not under some sort of load. I�ve seen this gentleman at the gym countless times, he�s pretty much a regular in my time slot during the week. Quite often, he�s downstairs, thrashing away in the pool, doing all of 0.2mph, but for like 30 minutes non stop.

But this morning, he�s on the shoulder press. Probably slaving away under 15 pound presses. Me being on the seated row, I�m facing generally downward, with a primo view of this guys socks. First thing I notice � what I think is an old guy phenomenon � black socks. Black socks with gray sneakers and orange floral print shorts. I didn�t dare look at his shirt. The shorts kind of threw me. Then I got a closer look at his socks. They were ankle socks. Black ankle socks that told a story. You see, on the inner part of the ankle, there was this beige orb, rather non-descript round blob. As one followed around to the outer part of the ankle, there was a straight vertical line with the word �START� sort of stenciled next to it, running vertically. On the other side of the �Start� line, there were a bunch of things all bunched up, like they were getting ready to start a race, I looked closer at the �things� at the start line and realized what the round blob was on the inner part of the sock. It was an egg. Those things bunched up at the start line were sperm, all revved up and ready to go race for the egg.

Black ankle socks, depicting sperm racing towards an egg, on an 80 year old guy doing shoulder presses at the YMCA. It�s a good thing I had finished my reps on the row when I finally noticed what was on his socks. Might have hurt something had I been mid lift. But now I�m wondering, where can I get a pair of those? I�m also wondering what this guy did when he was in the work force that he�d have the sense of humor to wear those things?

I got no kind of hint this morning. As I was leaving the weight machines, Mr. Sperm racer happened to be heading in for his morning workout. This time I noticed the printing on the back of his T-shirt. It was the logo of a local bricklayers union. Can�t see how that�s connected to sperm, racing, reproduction (well, a brick getting laid?). I am NOT going to ask the guy, he�ll think I�m some sort of nut. Plus, I don�t recall actually seeing his face that morning, so I�m not 100% positive I could actually pick him out of a lineup. If I see him wearing the socks again, I may ask, but I�m certainly not going to search him out. Too funny though, an 80 year old guy with sperm racing on his socks. Maybe you had to be there?

I cheated and weighed myself yesterday. 200.5 lbs. Soooooo close to getting under 200. I was trying to remember the last time I weighed that little. I know when Cindy & I got married, I probably weighed in at all of 180. The next thing I remember is several years later, getting down to 208 after a physical in honor of my 30th birthday. I don�t have a conscious memory of letting myself get over 200. Probably selective amnesia. So here I am, all of 47, finally getting close to what I weighed 25 years ago. Shit!!

Twenty fifth wedding anniversary this August. Betcha I�m supposed to get something special. I�ve been getting some subtle (cough, cough) hints at a particular ring, or at least a type of ring. Not too many years ago, the stone fell out of Cindy�s original engagement ring. Not like it was the Hope Diamond or anything, but it�s been gone a while now. Cindy has also inherited a diamond ring from her great aunt. Old sucker (the ring, that is) something in the 1.75 carat range, miners cut. Kinda took the place of the engagement ring. At least that�s where she wears it.

But I�ve been getting those oh so subtle hints about a replacement ring. Something with a diamond flanked by the birth stones of our two boys. Not anything in the 1.75 carat range though. Do you have any idea what those things cost? No, I�m thinking more in the 0.75 � 1.0 carat range. There�s a local store where maybe I can design the ring & setting and select the stones and not get raked over the coals too bad. I should start looking now though, cuz it�s only 5 months off. If I need to pay this thing off in chunks, I�m going to need time to print up the money.

Better run. Aerobics tonight.

Updated stats:

Weight start: 206.5 on 1/1/06 (265.0 on 1/15/05)
Current weight 200.5 on 3/6/06 (More progress!!) (yeah, I cheated and weighed myself on a Monday. I felt lucky)
Target: 180 by 7/1/06
Next weigh in: 3/11/06

The Keep on Truckin goal: (idea stolen shamelessly from Marn�s Big Adventure)
Miles at speed 2/9/06: 179.32
Miles with cooldown: 197.64
Target for 2006: 1000 miles

If you use a pop-up blocker, hit "Ctrl" when you click to leave a comment