Just for the Record
2007-06-18, 4:04 p.m.
Day 1030 Just for the Record
Lets see, where did we leave off? Friday night? Someone looking up local AA meetings, I believe.
Well Saturday morning, I took Eric in to work, went to the Y, did the cycling class with Cheri. Poor Cheri was actually worried about me. My lack of attendance in her Saturday morning classes had her mildly concerned. When I told her I was outdoors, riding for 3, 4 & 5 hours at a stretch, she understood completely. Then there was the whole “Did you do the tour? Which one? How far?” Told her I did the hundred and she squealed. Literally. Then, some 20 minutes in, as she was searching for things to chat about, she went and announced to the whole class that I’d done the hundred. Dang it. I was enjoying basking in the anonymity. Now people know, I feel like I’ll be expected to ride harder during the classes. I tend to go pretty hard anyhow, but . . .
Ah!! Here’s a non-alcohol application of some basic principles: I can’t control other peoples thoughts or opinions, but I can cycle as hard as I want - or not. Besides, like they give a shit about how hard I work in class. If they DO care – maybe they need a program themselves.
So. Saturday. Know what happened? Weeded the garden. Laid down some weed barrier. Then spent a few hours painting the shed that won’t paint itself. Finally got a coat of paint on the trim. Few more hours to do the second coat on the trim, then I can get the main body second coated (after 2 years . . .)
I knew when that AA meeting was Cindy was considering attending. She had the time written down on our grocery list. Not like I went out of my way to find out. I never mentioned it to her. Instead, I made sure I was out of the way as the meeting time approached – thinking I would let her slip out quietly. As 4:30 came and went, I never did hear the car start. That was disappointing. Just glad I never got to thinking that her going was a lead pipe cinch and that it would cure everything. I realize her going is only a little tiny step in the right direction, but she needs to take it on her own.
Been having a conversation with a gal from one of the on-line Al Anon groups. I think she’s opened my eyes a bit. I’ve had a tendency to not speak my mind, seemingly worried about the rather raw content that might spill forth if I don’t take the time to sit back and think about what I want to say. More worried that it might be hurtful to the intended audience. In essence, I end up not being honest with myself and with Cindy. She’s unaware just how deeply upset her drinking makes me, because I’m still keeping it all bottled up inside and never telling her the real, raw truth. I end up hurting myself, both of us really, trying to protect her feelings. Going to have to take the plunge here soon. Unfortunately, it may only be the first of many before this thing is resolved.
Took a nice bike ride Sunday morning. Tested out that camelback. After 2 washings with dish soap and several rinsings, the water still tasted like plastic. But after 2 hours on the road, it was still cold. That part is pretty neat. The taste will eventually clear, I’m sure. Maybe I ought to try running some Gatorade through it. Next week. Supposed to have a ride with the YMCA group next Sunday – led by Patty the Pedal Pusher. Could be a fun ride. Plus, I’ll get to see just how fast she really goes. She could be pedaling like a banshee, but in a really low gear. I’m afraid though, that she can pedal like that in higher gears too. But hey – for an hour ride I can suck it up and keep pace. After all, Sunday I did 34.4 miles in 2 hours. On a windy day. We’ll see.
Best part of yesterdays ride? 2 solid hours and my butt was fine. Actually, since that first really long training ride 3 weeks ago, I seem to be tolerating my saddle pretty well. That’s just begging for a joke about being a real hard ass, but I got nothing.
In the afternoon, Eric, The Bob and I went and took in a ball game. The local AAA team (Minnesota Twins top farmclub) was going at it against the Louisville club. We lost, but a sunny afternoon at the ball park is never a bad thing.
Cindy, of course, didn’t go to the game. “Someone has to stay home and watch the food” was her argument. We were smoking ribs. Put in fresh wood chips, set the burner down low, get it running at 225 or so and it’s perfectly fine to leave it alone for 3 hours. But – what ever.
Basically, Eric & I entertained her dad for the afternoon while she sat home and got wasted. Oh – she did a few minor chores, but that had to have been early. She could barely walk when we got home. I didn’t raise a fuss about it then, because her dad was with us. After dinner, she passed out, by the time she woke up, I had to run her dad back to his place. When I got home? She’s off to bed. Her manipulations will get aired out tonight. So will her not taking advantage of that AA meeting.
Part of the new idea – tell her what I think, but only as it pertains to how it affects me, and if it upsets her, well – too bad. It’s high time she learned that her drinking doesn’t just get her buzzed – it affects the rest of the house too. I think we’ve blinded her to that. A form of enabling really.
No workout this morning. Frankly, I don’t much care for the Monday morning spin instructor. He just plays old 60’s guitar tunes and goes. No matching the workout to the music, and his demeanor in front of the class is, well, he acts scared of the class. He’s a nice enough guy, in great shape, he’s just not a very good instructor. So I didnl;t feel too bad about taking this morning off. Could use the rest. Three straight days of going pretty hard, not for a long time, but intense runs, I could probably use the break. Tomorrow is back to the treadmill. Haven’t run in quite a while, need to revisit that. I think there’s a race I want to do coming up soon (Karknockers 5K, the shirt has a cool logo), so I ought to try and get tuned up for that.
Thinking about joining the local biking club too. Would provide maps, training ideas, group rides and maybe some riding partners. Cheap too – only $20 a year. It’ll probably lead to more expensive things like buying jerseys and equipment upgrades. Just have to burn those bridges when I get to them.
Zach really likes his new job. Gets to travel to Syracuse every week, which has already started in his first week. He’s also picked up his first design challenge – a domestic water supply line for a new subdivision outside of Syracuse. He’ll be closely supervised, but he’s got his very first real design job. It’s like he’s turning into a real live adult. More signs of impending adulthood – he’s going to give me back my EZpas tag (that lovely little RF tag for paying toll road fees while whizzing through the toll booth at 5 – 20mh) and get his own!! When our cell phone contract is up in a few more months? He’s getting his own one of those too. Except for still paying college loans, the rest of this growing up on his part is starting to save me money! In August, when he & Jill move out on their own, just think of the savings in groceries & hot water! I’ll probably be able to afford those equipment upgrades for my bike (like drop handle bars and cool jerseys) and get Cindy on a better brand of whiskey.
More motivation to get Cindy in her own program – you all remember I took the Group Rep job for my Tuesday evening Al Anon group, right? (Just nod your heads yes, it’s ok). Well. Part of the group reps responsibilities is to attend the Spring & Fall Conventions. The spring one is over (I mean, it IS June after all), but the fall Con is coming up in September. In Syracuse. For 3 days. I can’t wait to break this news to Cindy. This could go over really, really poorly. Hmmm – no worse than an overnight hunting or fishing trip though. Good point.
Made a joke in the comments about taking a 2 or 3 day bike trip to Pennsylvania as a coping mechanism. According to G00gle maps, it’s only 92.3 miles to Genesee, Pa. Genesee is nearly due south of me, just across the border, and happens to be what the river that runs through Rochester is named for.
Here’s the map. Looks entirely possible. Two day trip. Leave early Saturday, ride, ride, ride. Arrive mid afternoon. Camp out in Pa, head back early Sunday, ride, ride, ride. Arrive early Sunday evening. Monday would be a vacation day. Need a riding partner. Actually, screw the tent/sleeping bag deal. A motel with a real bed would be good. Gotta think about this. It could work. Would be a very interesting summer trip. Find a ride partner and it could happen.
I just love a good project.
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