Whoda Thunk it? (and an experiment)
2008-11-27, 7:50 a.m.

Day 1555

If you see this before 5pm EST on Nov. 26, 2008, then the experiment may have worked. If you�re seeing this after that, well the experiment may have worked, but you got here too late to find out. Trust me, there isn�t much lost in that.

So. I went to Indiana. It was flat. This coming from a guy that lives within 15 miles of Lake Ontario and reside in what is generally considered to be a �lake plain� We at least have little rollers, a bit of contour to our terrain. But western Ohio and Indiana? The only hills are the ones the construction crews built to make overpasses for the interstate.

And wtf is up with Ohio? No EZpas or any other electronic toll collecting system? I actually had to stop and get a little card when entering the Ohio Turnpike. Then at the other end, I had to actually interface with a (cold, bored) human being to pay my toll. In NY (and other places like Indiana, WV, NY, NJ, Conn, De, Md, ) we are much more impersonal. I can breeze through a toll plaza at 20mph. A radio reads my car�s little badge and thinks �ok, Brian got on at Exit 44� then at the other end, I breeze through again and the little radio dealie says � ok, Brian got off at Exit 50, he owes us $2.50� and they hoover it right out of my account. (NY does exits strictly by a number progression, not by mile marker. It�s dumb. Mile markers are so damn handy) (And NO, I didn�t get off at exit 50, that would be unsafe. That�s what parking areas are for, sillies.)

Anyhow. If you care, you probably know that Syracuse beat ND, 24 � 23 on a last minute TD by �The Cuse� and a failed last second field goal try by the Irish. It was hard being a Syracuse fan, sitting amongst all those rabid, loyal to the death, ND fans. But the tail gating was fun, we got to see a lot of the campus, out niece was as excited to see us as we were to see her and all in all, everybody had a great time.

Cindy drank but didn�t get all sloppy drunk. Thank heavens. It would have been so embarrassing to have to leave her in the stadium rest room, peeing her brains out, or being all sorry for herself because herself let herself get all stoooopid drunk. Think they would have figure out who she belonged to? I know, my brother wouldn�t have let me get away with it. He has no idea what�s really going on. He may suspect Cindy drinks too much from time to time, but he has no clue as to the degree. Frequency or magnitude.

Note to Syracuse cheerleader types � Those big honkin� flags the guys drag in? The ones with the letters on them? You might want to rethink those things. Starting with a big �S� followed by �c�, �u�, �s� and �e� makes it look like (follow me here) S�cuse, which can be taken as short for �excuse me� or it an be mangled into any vernacular of �excuse�, as in �this is a poor excuse of a football team�, or �you�ll have to excuse them�. I was never a big fan of this whole �The �cuse� thing anyhow. Sounds like a lame attempt to be hip.

Driving to South Bend kinda sucked. From Hamburg NY (Exit 57 on the Thruway) (or just southwest of the Buffalo metro area) it snowed, a lot, a la lake effect style, all the way till the other side of Cleveland. Depending on how you measure, that�s about 100 � 120 miles of bad road. Snow, low visibility, slippery, over cautious people crawling along, under cautious people parked at odd angles in ditches, cool people (me!!), plodding along at 40 � 45mph, taking their time, keeping things nice & easy. Worst thing you can do driving in crap like that is get all tight. First, it tires you out. Second, it makes you all herky-jerky. You need to be smooth with everything. Fast, jerky steering wheel actions get you in trouble. Actually, so do brakes. You gotta anticipate, watch waaaaaaayyyy out in front and slow down by just getting off the gas, if you can get away with it. Brakes just get you (and the car) all goofy, then you end up parking at funny angles in the ditch. Sucks for you, but the tow truck drivers love it. They may bitch about having to pull your sorry ass out of the ditch (rhyme unintentional, but free), but they don�t do it for free now, do they?

I�ll post a few pics once I have time to sort, crop, re-size, edit for content � all that crap.

No progress ont eh deck/porch while we were gone. I guess Friday it was snowing too much at home. They were supposed to be putting the roof sheathing on, but in the snow that stuff gets way too slippery, make standing on it impossible. Hopefully today they�ll get that done, although the weather radar says it�s currently 41 and raining. That doesn�t seem like good roofing weather to me.

Oh. On the way � I did sorta try to think about those folks I know up in Michigan. I didn�t realize that I-90 came sooooo close to Michigan for so long. On some maps, it looks like you can hit a golf ball from I-90 to the Michigan state line. If that�s the case, then southern Michigan is really, really flat too. Surprised there aren�t more tornado�s out that way.

Day 1556 Two-fer

Because I am a lazy, slacker, not worthy blogger type individual, you get a two for one deal on entries today. And it DID snow again yesterday. Of course. I could guess that there�s maybe 6 inches of the white stuff on the ground, but that is no reflection of what we�ve actually received snowfall-wise over the last several days. Not being here for 3 days kind of affects that knowledge base too.

Now. Seems that Cindy is getting suspicious. We�ve been swapping emails all morning and she is under the impression that there are some secrets being kept and that she is the butt of �the big joke�

I wish we weren�t in the process of planning what we are doing at this time of year. I wish we were more prepared. I wish we weren�t in the position of needing to do this. I wish it were already over. Brings to mind an old, nasty saying � �Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one gets full first.� There�s a slightly more polite version of it, but I�m all about impact these days.

I tentatively scheduled another get together for the boys & I with Annette next week. Ironically, Cindy is also trying to schedule an appointment for the two of us with Annette. Fortunately (or not) Annette is on vacation this week and isn�t scheduling appointments yet. Looks like the boys & I can get in our dry run, then maybe make use of the appointment Cindy gets for the two of us for the big reveal. Or intervention. Or family meeting. Or border setting session. Call it what you will, the jig will be up before Christmas. This is good. Or not. Thanksgiving, birthdays, Christmas � all will have a little added tension this year. Well, certainly Thanksgiving. By birthdays & Christmas maybe things will be settled in a little. Or blown up completely. Either way, we�ll be headed somewhere.

To further complicate things, I got an email from my brother. He wants to know if I can bowl Thursday morning in an adult/junior no tap tournament. He�s got twin sons, 16, and he really can�t bowl with both at the same time. So he asked if I�d step in. So I asked the Department of War if she minded terribly if I bowled with the boys Thanksgiving morning (this is an annual tournament. I went and watched last year.) I even offered for her & The Bob to tag along & watch as my mom and SIL will likely be there too.

She was all �I guess. I�ll be home cooking.� 9:30 in the morning. I�ll have the turkey in the smoker on auto pilot. Most of the rest will likely be prepped ahead of time, all that�s left is cycling them through the oven so they�re all hot at the same time. We have a 36 inch wide stove and the turkey will be in the smoker. Hardest decision will be at what temp to cook everything. It�ll all fit, no problem.

She�s just into her �you do this, you do that, you talk about sports, the gym, bowling, biking . . . WE never do anything.� Makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a dull teaspoon.

I�m hoping to finish this later. Right now, I need to get home and prepare my letter/notes for the big reveal. Or intervention. Or family meeting. Or border setting session. Got to set a good example and get shit done, even if it is at the last minute.

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